I don't mean to carp, but this topic seems a little fishy.

Cats

Cats are a nice topic... and my cat looks OK today, he's clearly feline fine!

Today

Here it's the middle of the gambling week--it's Wins Day!

Gaming

I heard that Apple just forged an incredible alliance with MacDonald's to create together the biggest gaming console ever! I heard they want to call it the Big Mac!

Alliances

A kingdom made an alliance with the denizens of a toxic, barren frontier: "Pact with the Wastes."

Cleaning

A man walks into a vacuum cleaner store. After browsing for a while, he asks to speak to the manager. When the manager comes, she asks the man, “Is there something wrong, sir?” And the man replies, “Oh, something’s wrong alright — everything you sell sucks!”

Jobs

I was hired to be a dentist, but I was tired of always being down-in-the-mouth.
Then I got a job working with rockets, but I was fired.
Maybe I should be a farmer--a man out standing in his field.

Farm jokes

Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
You should never tell secrets on a farm because the potatoes have eyes and the corn have ears.
They say making hay is difficult, but it seems pretty cut and dry to me.

Hospitals

How is a hospital like a hair salon? Some people go into each of them to dye.

Color

If a purple-colored fruit gets stuck in your drain, then you should call a plum-ber to fix it.

-

And if it doesn't work, pipe up.

I was going to cook alligator for dinner, but all I had was a croc pot.

Kitchen utensils

My wife says that I have an excellent nose for wine. I suspect that she says that because it's shaped like a corkscrew....

Noses

Pinocchio's lying problem was nothing to sniff at.

Wood

A bear is riding a bike in the woods when he passes a man who notices him and yells: "What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!" The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.

Bikes

Bikes can't stand up by themselves because they are two-tired

Wheels

Who invented the wheel?

A wheely smart guy!

--> Dessert

I scream for dessert!

Dairy

What did the cow write in it's dairy?

Hair

When looking for hair puns, I had to comb my library. Maybe I should brush up on my memory. I should lock up more information this way.

Locks

I was shocked out of my socks when the flock down the block hocked the clock where I had locked my Glock stocks.

(does rhyming count as wordplay?)

My wife told me: "Nothing rhymes with orange."
I respectfully replied: "No it doesn't!"

oranges

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?   :)

Fruits

I sat down and said to the large man working as the bartender, "Serve me something fruity, please"

Next thing I know, he does an aegyo and says in a high-pitched voice, "Hey, handsome~~"

I belatedly realized I was in the wrong kind of bar!

A man walks in to a bar with a piece of asphalt
The man says to the bartender “1 for me, and 1 for the road”

road