"Have you ever heard of the Rods from God?"

"Do you mean the Tower of Babel? I have!"

"Uh... sure" *quietly puts away orbital kinetic tungsten weapons*

new topic: family

Did you hear about the gorilla who was taught to read? He was found one day holding a Bible in one hand and The Origin of Species in the other. He was trying to find out if he was his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.

Next up: monkeys

What did a bunch of monkeys say when a group of researchers approached?

"Quick! Shut up and pick your noses, or else they'll make us pay taxes!"

Edit: new topic - lies
This message was last edited by a game editor at 23:26, Sun 06 Feb 2022.

The big cat claimed to be a tiger but I knew he was lion.

Next up: tigers

If you happen to come across a pun with no follow-up target, may I suggest just taking something from the pun and building off that as a default?

Sounds good, but I also think it should be a 'legal move' to stick with the same topic.

Using each topic only once is unnecessary

---

...in the CANCELLED Murim world...

Prepare yourself, Heavenly Demon Emperor! They call me Tiger Fist!

Why do they call you that?

*grotesquely transforms hand into eight foot long feline*

Oh Gods, put it away!

That’s what she said!   :D

Cats

Meow that's more like it!

CAT PUNS!? You sir, have CROSSED fe-LINE!

My favorite cat pun of all time came from an old British comedy series called “Are You Being Served?” Mrs. Slocome was one of the female leads and she was habitually late for work, and always had an excuse that related to her pussy, by which she meant her pet cat.

(scene, Mrs. Slocome arrives to work, late as usual)

“Sorry I’m late! It was raining out and my pussy got so wet I had to dry it out in front of the fire.”

And she never got burned for that?

I have a burning question: I got fired as a firefighter is a legal pun according to the rules of this thread?

Next topic: rules.

Okay, when you’re playing baseball the rules are simple. You start out with nine players on the field. You’ve got Who on first base, What on second…

Hold on, wait a minute! Who’s on first base?

Yes.

</scratches head in confusion> Okay, I want you to tell me the names of the guys on the field.

I am. Who’s on first…

How am I supposed to know! You’re the one telling me!

I am, if you’ll just listen. Who’s on first…

No, no, wait a minute. What’s the name of the guy on first base?

No, What’s on second.

————————————

Flowers

Well, what can I say? You made my dai-sy with this magnificent topic!

Next topic: magnificence

A giant is a human magnified.

Next up: puns about puns

(Not sure if this qualifies…)
What do you call a stupid donkey acquaintance?

A dumb ass ass associate… or a stubborn triple assed friend.

Feet

What did the big toe say to the little toe?

Nothing. Because feet don't talk. Idiot.

---

Disney

If Walt Disney were alive, he never would have allowed Pluto to be demoted as a planet.

Planet jokes

Hey did you hear that the Hertz rent-a-car company already has plans to expand onto other worlds once humans start colonizing other planets? They’ve even got a catchy new name for their outer space expansions…. Uranus-Hertz.    :)

Same topic
This message was last edited by the player at 04:20, Tue 08 Feb 2022.

The last time I thought of Mars, I was eating a candy bar.

Candy jokes

Oh no!... I had a nice lollipop joke, but I just can't remember it! What a frustration! I got it on the tip of my tongue!

Tongue

I, too, was struggling with a lollipop joke, and a tongue joke, but I now have the problem licked.

Lips

Roses on the piano and tulips on the organ.  ;)

Money

I tried to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
Then I tried to break into the bank computer, but I found I couldn't hack it.
I tried dropping pennies on an exit sign, to coin a phrase.
The duck didn't pay for his meal, instead telling them to put it on his bill.
So, you think this topic is cashed out?

Mice

(Scary Movie philosophy 101)

My aunt Shaneequa got evicted for having mice.

I thought she had rats?

No, rats are outside, mice are inside.

But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?

I ain't seen no mouse outside!

That's because it's a rat, fool!


Fish
This message was last edited by the player at 03:01, Wed 09 Feb 2022.

You rang? Oh, but I'm merely a mouse, not mice...