"What did you expect? 'Welcome, sonny'? 'Make yourself at home'? 'Marry my daughter'? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."

-Also Blazing Saddles

Birds of a feather flock together, so do pigs and swine, rats and mice have their chance, as will I have mine.

Simon Peter Gruber
Die Hard: With a Vengeance
 

"This morning I woke up and shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I will never know."

Groucho Marx, Animal Crackers (I believe)

"Man, I just remembered: Never bring a knife to a gun fight."

Someone stole that from Sean Connery! >.<

In Hunt for Red October: I'm a Russian Shubamrine Commandah!

And in Highlander, which stars a SCOTTISH ROLE, he's a bloody Spaniard!

Como Eshtash, Everybodeh! I enjoy Taquitosh*!

(pronounced 'ohsh' as in 'oh, shiiiii')

"And you can tell the Rolling Stones magazine that my last words were, 'I'm on drugs!'"

-Almost Famous
This message was last edited by the player at 03:45, Wed 09 Mar 2011.

"Are you high?"

-countless people through my life.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.


  ~Doug Larson

"Bacon?  BACON!!!  You're dog won't believe it's not bacon." - Beggin Strips Commercial

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
     - General Zod (Superman 2, and others)

"But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it's- You see, slaughtering all those men of yours has, uh, well it's left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me." - King Leonidas, 300

Heh heh heh... he said "hard"... heh heh.
     - Beavis, or maybe Butthead.  Either one works.

"Who's laughing now?!"
Ash Williams, Evil Dead

Laughter is the best medicine.
     - To many people to list.

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" - Marry Poppins.

"There is only one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and wont, that is a wife who can't cook and will."
     - Robert Frost

"People say, "The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work."  I say Bu!! $#!&.  I've seen The Deadliest Catch..."
      - (I forgot his 1st name) Tosh

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.  ~John Steinbeck

"That foam on the surface is Crab Farts bubbling up to the surface.  That's how you know where to drop the pots.  You can smell the Crab Farts."
     - Paraphrased from Capt. Phil Harris of the Cornielea Marie (RIP)

“The crab that walks too far falls into the pot”

 Haitian Proverb

Too many Chefs spoil the stew.
     - (or something like that) Unknown

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning.  ~John Barrymore

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
  - Louis Hector Berlioz

"Time is the healer of all necessary evils."

Menander