"Who put the artifical inseminator for elephants by the turkey-baster in the staff kitchen?"

Alight that's just sick. Do we give out rotten tomato..I mean brownie points here, because that was pretty good.

You can nominate for best post of the month, but that's about it.

"ARIGHT, THE NEXT PERSON THAT GETS INTO TROUBLE FOR KIDNAPPING SMALL CHILDREN GETS 3 MINUTES WITH CHARLES THE BEAR!"

"What on Earth are you doing with my ear-drops, Uncle Fester?!?
That's deplorable -- and I had no idea you were so flexible!"

New One!

In a Movie Theater.

"Why is your hand in my popcorn?"

"That's not my hand!"

*chew, chew, chew*
*chew, chew, chew*
*CRRRRRUNCH, chew, chew*
*Slllllllurp*
*chew, chew, chew*

"Hey man, that's MY girlfriend you've got your arm around!"

"Oh yeah?  Well, that's MY mother!!!"

"Psst... what did he say?" every 10 seconds.

audience person's cellphone rings.

"Hello?  Hey man, whassup?  Yeah, I'm watching the movie right now!  Yeah, it's aight." etc etc

(I have experienced this multiple times.  ANNOYING!)

Babies or small children crying.  They can ruin in any good scene or movie.

"Wait until they reveal that he's the killer!"

"fire!"

"It's a Chinese martial arts movie dubbed in Spanish."

Heath reminded me of a true story

Spoiler of 'The Crying Game';
My mom says at first sight of woman in movie, "That's a man!" (loudly).

(shortly after the movie starts)

"Yeah, I'll change his diaper after the movie"

"Is whooping cough (cough, cough) contagious?"

"I have a stuffy nose, so I have to chew with my mouth open."

"I just dropped my pet snake."

"Do you mind if I put my feet on your arm rest?"

Where is that highly contagious genome from my lab, I knew I shouldn't have taken work home with me today

The reel has accidentally Bern replaced with another movie please enjoy Oliver and Company

"Don't go in there!  The killers behind the door!"

I told her but she just had to go in there and now she's dead.

What on earth is THAT!  They forgot to clean before the movie...