In reply to SunRuanEr (msg # 2285):
I agree ≈100%. One user I know I'm truly worried for if Karack. I name drop because, to be discrete he has huge problems. As in one being a loss of job he needed, and another, as serious as it sounds, brain injury. I have been grieving like I knew him, because he shared his life, like I do. I didn't know him well, but I felt like I knew him enough to know that if he died, or had to BE hospitalized, that I'd want to know. I kind of keep this lump in my head another arises in my heart and gut when I think on that mental lump. So yes, that is the right thing to feel if someone doesn't log in, you worry. I'm not saying it's wrong to l eave it casual only, but yeah, if you care about your players as seeking friendship and comradery, you want to know that that is worthwhile, or especially that when they don';t log in, it's a failsafe that let's you know, okay this not flaking. They have place when they come back, if they want to.
On the main ghosting though, which to fair, we don't know how much so, but it IS the majority of these people. I seriously hate giving non-updates (I'm usually GMing and right now exlcusively). but when I log in, I may not read all posts, so I'll give an update. Players ghostign sucks, but a GM ghosting is, for me, just horrid, because you have to wait, like Karack for me, to breathe, or you have to see they post in another game and just scoff in disgust. So I am actually very bad the other direction, giving "non-posts" to let players know, why and how I'm on the game.
For players, I have a few acronyms, one is TBTP, Too busy to post. It's actually an acronym I forget, sadly, and wonder wtf, but it's at least a clue that the player made the bare effort. I also welcome players telling me "I want to quit" I don't guilt them. I don';;t take it personally, which on an aside some players are offended
I don't "try harder to keep" them. Which is absurd and I think think the reason, however ill practiced, players don't admit, hey I'm just not interested. I let my players take indefinite breaks. I don't do "milestone" XP in games that are like that, but I do consult the players as peers, not subordinates, and decide with the returning player what's fair. Sometimes players will get a gift package even, to show they weren't just not punished, but missed!
Anyway, I hate ghosting. Especially when I make it very clear my players have three options. Post content, post that you're on delay from days to indefinite, or quit. Otherwise I take control, eventually of their character when they log in, repeatedly and don't even put a single word. Literally. Just "Busy." is better than nothing. It's vague and terse, but it shows the bare minimum. I may still remove them if they never give more information and they have history of other games' problems, but pretty much I'll just put them on hiatus.
Anyway, as far as it goes for me. I am guilty of not posting when logging in. It's not often, it's not rare, but it's seldom a case where it's twice ina row, and never thrice. I will, however, occasionally log in, read and RL just pulls me away, and I have no indicator to rem ind me, oh yeah! They're waiting on ME! I realize this, when it happens, when I log int to check hwy it's slowed. I can't do anything but apologize and move forward. If it's twice in a row, it's because the second time I KNOW I need to post, and RL just pulls me away. Literally a friend of neighbor or the appliances need immediate attendance. I always come back the next time with a buffer of someone to cover me, and make sure unless it's life or death (which thankfully it never has been) I post SOMETHING.
My own vent is this though. I had a birthday in 2022 I had planned to get myself a get together and invite a few people. In that year I was evicted and became homeless, and found out so many people on RPoL were friends and not justy buddies, but unfortunatewly so, so, sooo :( so many local people weren't friends. In 2022 I spent my birthday in a car. In 2023 treating my roommate. In 2024, it looks like I have to choose my movem, and ither way a piece goes off the board, as chess reference. These two videos really sum up the words I don't have, the thoughts I can speak, and certainly can't write.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...p7O-pwOM&index=1 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ3a2gvLcvQ
Next vent is my Parkinsonism. I take HAldol, and I knew this was a risk. I take Haldol for TS (Tourettes) and it's the ONLY treatment. PArkinsonims, if you (not just you Sunruaner but anyone) doesn't know, it's the umbrella un der which (kind of weirdly) Parkinson's Disease is
under but most other Parkinsonism can be "cured:" because they aren't inherent/genetic/et cetera. It's from an outside controllable source, and can, often be lessened and sometimes reverted. I have the option to let my tics, which are in their own way life threaening, one I have under the surafec is getting sick, to put it lightly, another is head banging, only against a surface. So parkinsonism is better than that. One day it might not be, but it makes writing even harder, The tics still are there, but now the parkinsonism is too. So I might have to quit RPoL and writing in general.