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Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Posted by Broman
Broman
member, 15 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 16:18
  • msg #1

Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

As a small child living in the lush forests of (somewhere) having only my father whit me as my mother died in labor. I grew up always close to death not only to the animals that we hunted but also to travelers and other vagabonds living in the forests. The first time I myself took another living beings life was at the tender age of 5. My dad was holding up a dear revealing its throat and I did as I had seen my father do so many times. I still remember the power and sensation that I got then I would say there is nothing that can compare to that feeling. As I grew older and older every day learning about how to survive whit what you got some times whiteout finding anything at all to eat sometimes letting the food rot. Well as it always does time passes and I reached the age of 14 by this time I had lost count of the amount of persons I had slayed. It is terrifyingly  easy taking a life all it takes is one well-placed shoot and then the bullet sores thru the air and crakes the skull open on the person who is receiving my gift. Hah that sound is wonderful I had always thought so and that will probably never change. Well lets continue. On my 14th year we finally went into a town. It was quite frightening at first but having the cold steel of a firearm on my back made me relax. This was the first time that I actually could use my other skills such as reading it was quite amazing. Well we stayed at the in for a while doing absolutely nothing other than staying in the room I got restless and said I wanted to go out to the town but my dad said no this kept on going for a couple of weeks then I grew tired of it and sneaked out when he was asleep. On my stroll thru town I noticed a small piece of paper whit the description of my father embedded on it. I took a closer look and it reed “To the one that catches this foul criminal and his loathsome son will be rewarded whit 500 silver pennies(or whatever the money is in the world)” I instinctively reacted that I must part myself from my father as soon as possible or I might face doom. So I went up to the room loaded my musket pointed it right at the chest of my father and whit a smile I pulled the trigger. The flintlock musket roaring high and loud I soon had town guards breaking into the small room only to find me next to my now useless father. I reached my hand forward and said “May I have that reward now” still smiling. The two guards in the roof grasped there weapons and where going to kill me they probably had a description of me as well. Whit my musket unloaded I summersaulted over the bed whit my dad simultaneously drawing his matchlock pistol from his belt and as soon as I landed pointed it at the soldier closest to me whit his battle axe above his head about to bring it down upon me I fired the bullet tearing thru his chest and dropping him dead onto the cold floor. An instant later his friend arrived flustered whit rage and fear. I can only imagine what was going thru his mind. I took a step to further the distance from me and the guard. The guard already swinging his sword in a wide arch hit me across the face giving me a scar on my left cheek though over-swinging the blow and nailing his sword to the ground I approached him and jumped onto his back pulling out the knife from my belt. And now just like the dear my first kill I slashed the man’s throat blood gushing out, going everywhere and me still smiling. I quickly gathered up my thing and left whit all haste. A while later I meet up whit a band of mercenaries whom had no problem incorporating a quite skilled marksman into their ranks. I served there fighting in countless battles I earned the name reaper. Whit me dead accurate shoots I could hit a man in the eye at 100ft range. This being false though the nickname carried on. I started to have my own agenda never letting anything get in my way and soon I found myself leading the band of mercenaries across the country. Though that all ended soon when we got into a large engagement and I last all my troops aside from 5 including myself. We disbanded and I now littered whit various scars across my body a fit man ready for anything I decided to devote myself to a deity. After pondering the books and hearing the fables I decided on the mighty Eiseth. Never questioning my decision I moved on always carrying the symbol whit me hanging from my neck. Picking up bits and pieces about what I should do whit my life now that I no longer had nothing. I ended up at a royal palace that recognized me as leader of the renowned mercenary group and as the reaper. I guess I will never get rid of that name now. There was this one lord that insisted that I would train his troops and after a long debate I decided to do it of course get the most out of it well I trained his troops and I trained the well but they all failed in the end none of them could abbey the command to shoot their loved ones. I told the lord this and he immediately sent me away whit a look of disgust on his face never giving me what I was promised thus I ended up finding purpose again. Now at the age of 19 having spent 2 years of planning and devoting myself I finally found an opportunity to have my revenge. All it took was one shoot and I was once again whit out a purpose. Roaming the woods and mountains. Then suddenly one night when I was asleep something happened I woke up not in the place I went to sleep in. Around me there where stone walls. The last thing I remember was a voice of a beautiful woman whit black feathered wing coming out from each side of her back calling out in my sleep the words she said stuck whit me “Prove your worth and we shall meat one day”




sorry for massive text and the 1111 words of it...

Pathfinder system tho i belive changing some names and it can be mady for most
first backstory so plz say what you think i should add change for next time.
This message was last edited by the user at 16:19, Sat 14 Mar 2015.
Eggy
member, 535 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 16:42
  • msg #2

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

I enjoyed the story, but like the character sheet thread, these are things you should ask the GM you want to play with. That way, you'll know if your character will fit into the game you want to join.

Have you tried joining any games yet? Do you know how? I don't mean to sound rude and don't mention which games you're joining. I just want to help.
Broman
member, 16 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 16:57
  • msg #3

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

I have and I have submited both but the GM/DM has (accepted my rtj but) not unlocked the forum yet the GM/DM said that when i am done whit both it will get unlocked so i don't really know what is left to do :(

It was OK that i played this kind of char

but what now?
Eggy
member, 536 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:00
  • msg #4

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Has the GM told you what you need to do to finish? Can you ask?

I hope I don't sound harsh, but I'm not in the game with you and I don't know what your GM wants. That GM is the best person to ask.
Evil Empryss
member, 1278 posts
Because knowing
is half the battle!
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:24
  • msg #5

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

And give the GM time to look over your stuff and figure out how to fit you into the game. It isn't an arcade game, where you pay your token and start playing. It's intellectual and there are lots of plots and storylines and NPCs to consider when adding a new character.

Be patient and in the mean time practice correct capitalization.
Broman
member, 17 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:29
  • msg #6

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Okey i'll wait and correct capitalization never heard of it
Broman
member, 18 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:30
  • msg #7

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

GM has not replyed to me since i sent it tho she has posted thing might not have had time
Eggy
member, 537 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:36
  • msg #8

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Good advice, EE!
Evil Empryss
member, 1279 posts
Because knowing
is half the battle!
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:42
  • msg #9

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Broman:
Okey i'll wait and correct capitalization never heard of it

On the off-chance that you're being serious and this is a language barrier issue, capitalization:

quote:
Capitalization is the writing of a word with its first letter in uppercase and the remaining letters in lowercase. Experienced writers are stingy with capitals. It is best not to use them if there is any doubt.

Rule 1. Capitalize the first word of a document and the first word after a period.

Rule 2. Capitalize proper nouns—and adjectives derived from proper nouns.

There are others, but those are the two biggies.

If you were just being sarcastic, well, then move on to punctuation.  :)
Broman
member, 19 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 17:49
  • msg #10

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

I am acctually not that experiensed whit englsih and grammer+spelling is my achelis heel.
Primary language is swedish
So i will try whit the grammar you told me to do fast thing tho

nouns i will google these but i have no ide what the acctaully are :(

and about capitalization i knew about what it was never acctauly heard a word for it
GamerHandle
member, 671 posts
Umm.. yep.
So, there's this door...
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 21:13
  • msg #11

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

So wie so Deutsch:

Noun bedeutet -> Substantiv aus Grammatik.

Als, Sie wollen die Schaltfläche des retur zwischen meningar Pressen.
Evil Empryss
member, 1280 posts
Because knowing
is half the battle!
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 22:20
  • msg #12

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

^
||
||
What he said. ^_^
Broman
member, 20 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 22:22
  • msg #13

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

sooo..... what did he say?
GamerHandle
member, 674 posts
Umm.. yep.
So, there's this door...
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 22:38
  • msg #14

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Noun refers to Names and identified objects.  Not verbs or adjectives.

Also - it will help your Backstory if you press 'enter' or the 'return key' between segments.  About every 5-7 sentences.
Broman
member, 21 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 22:53
  • msg #15

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

allright i will keep that in mind until next time
Gaffer
member, 1263 posts
Ocoee FL
40 yrs of RPGs
Sun 15 Mar 2015
at 04:03
  • msg #16

Re: Backstory any thoughts? a bit long i know...

Make sure you figure out how to break your posts into paragraph form. A paragraph is a group of sentences with one topic, that is dealing with a particular point or idea. Posting large blocks of undifferentiated text will cause GMs and players unnecessary headaches and reluctance to game with you.

Here is your backstory broken into paragraphs (no attempt to correct spelling or grammar).

As a small child living in the lush forests of (somewhere) having only my father whit me as my mother died in labor. I grew up always close to death not only to the animals that we hunted but also to travelers and other vagabonds living in the forests.

The first time I myself took another living beings life was at the tender age of 5. My dad was holding up a dear revealing its throat and I did as I had seen my father do so many times. I still remember the power and sensation that I got then I would say there is nothing that can compare to that feeling.

As I grew older and older every day learning about how to survive whit what you got some times whiteout finding anything at all to eat sometimes letting the food rot. Well as it always does time passes and I reached the age of 14 by this time I had lost count of the amount of persons I had slayed. It is terrifyingly  easy taking a life all it takes is one well-placed shoot and then the bullet sores thru the air and crakes the skull open on the person who is receiving my gift. Hah that sound is wonderful I had always thought so and that will probably never change.

Well lets continue. On my 14th year we finally went into a town. It was quite frightening at first but having the cold steel of a firearm on my back made me relax. This was the first time that I actually could use my other skills such as reading it was quite amazing. Well we stayed at the in for a while doing absolutely nothing other than staying in the room I got restless and said I wanted to go out to the town but my dad said no this kept on going for a couple of weeks then I grew tired of it and sneaked out when he was asleep.

On my stroll thru town I noticed a small piece of paper whit the description of my father embedded on it. I took a closer look and it reed “To the one that catches this foul criminal and his loathsome son will be rewarded whit 500 silver pennies(or whatever the money is in the world)” I instinctively reacted that I must part myself from my father as soon as possible or I might face doom.

So I went up to the room loaded my musket pointed it right at the chest of my father and whit a smile I pulled the trigger. The flintlock musket roaring high and loud I soon had town guards breaking into the small room only to find me next to my now useless father. I reached my hand forward and said “May I have that reward now” still smiling.

The two guards in the roof grasped there weapons and where going to kill me they probably had a description of me as well. Whit my musket unloaded I summersaulted over the bed whit my dad simultaneously drawing his matchlock pistol from his belt and as soon as I landed pointed it at the soldier closest to me whit his battle axe above his head about to bring it down upon me I fired the bullet tearing thru his chest and dropping him dead onto the cold floor.

An instant later his friend arrived flustered whit rage and fear. I can only imagine what was going thru his mind. I took a step to further the distance from me and the guard. The guard already swinging his sword in a wide arch hit me across the face giving me a scar on my left cheek though over-swinging the blow and nailing his sword to the ground I approached him and jumped onto his back pulling out the knife from my belt. And now just like the dear my first kill I slashed the man’s throat blood gushing out, going everywhere and me still smiling. I quickly gathered up my thing and left whit all haste.

A while later I meet up whit a band of mercenaries whom had no problem incorporating a quite skilled marksman into their ranks. I served there fighting in countless battles I earned the name reaper. Whit me dead accurate shoots I could hit a man in the eye at 100ft range. This being false though the nickname carried on.

I started to have my own agenda never letting anything get in my way and soon I found myself leading the band of mercenaries across the country. Though that all ended soon when we got into a large engagement and I last all my troops aside from 5 including myself. We disbanded and I now littered whit various scars across my body a fit man ready for anything I decided to devote myself to a deity.

After pondering the books and hearing the fables I decided on the mighty Eiseth. Never questioning my decision I moved on always carrying the symbol whit me hanging from my neck. Picking up bits and pieces about what I should do whit my life now that I no longer had nothing. I ended up at a royal palace that recognized me as leader of the renowned mercenary group and as the reaper. I guess I will never get rid of that name now.

There was this one lord that insisted that I would train his troops and after a long debate I decided to do it of course get the most out of it well I trained his troops and I trained the well but they all failed in the end none of them could abbey the command to shoot their loved ones. I told the lord this and he immediately sent me away whit a look of disgust on his face never giving me what I was promised thus I ended up finding purpose again.

Now at the age of 19 having spent 2 years of planning and devoting myself I finally found an opportunity to have my revenge. All it took was one shoot and I was once again whit out a purpose. Roaming the woods and mountains.

Then suddenly one night when I was asleep something happened I woke up not in the place I went to sleep in. Around me there where stone walls. The last thing I remember was a voice of a beautiful woman whit black feathered wing coming out from each side of her back calling out in my sleep the words she said stuck whit me “Prove your worth and we shall meat one day”

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