There have been times on RPoL that a GM has been so arbitrary, so contrary to his own Rules, and just so plain mean, that that is the only way for a player to get closure.

Wow.  Normally players just vanish into the aether or leave with apologies for not being able to continue.

When I first played games in PbP, and got fed up and quit, some GMs would retaliate with disgusting R and X rated stuff, then execute my character in a degrading manner.

Whether or not the game is marked sole ownership, as per the RPOL rules, the GM is allowed to keep the players character if they deem it fit to do so. So whether or not you don't want someone using your character, it's a moot point sadly. I usually remove characters when a player quits my games, but not always does that happen and it's not expected to happen. The GM can choose to keep the character...

In reply to KR4G3N (msg # 2):

The problem with that is that the character is already a part of the broader story being told.  The player can't delete the character entirely, but it is possible to catch a GM unaware and already have the character sheet and description deleted before they know anything is up. I know, because this has happened to me in the past.

In reply to azzuri (msg # 3 & 5):

Getting closure by vindictively deleting everything you can? How does doing this prevent an equally vindictive GM from retaliating by degrading your character?

In reply to drewalt (msg # 4):

Sure, 9 times out of 10 the player vanished or quietly exits. I've even had players in the past ask to have their character removed, and depending on the situation I've done so at the earliest convenience to the story.

In reply to fireflights (msg # 6):

Why is the point moot? Yes, the GM can continue with the character, but in the case of not knowing what the character's stats were or what items they had, it can be disruptive to the game, which seems to be the primary intent.
This message was last edited by the user at 18:36, Wed 24 Aug 2016.

It is petty.

Oh, sure, there are times that it's petty in retaliation for the GM's pettiness, but it's still petty.

Over the years, I've learned that I much prefer not to waste time on a situation I'm done with.  What a GM does with a character after I leave a game is not my concern.  Whether they retire them gracefully or give them a horrific death, I just consider that some alternate universe that I'll never visit.

It doesn't affect my memories, or what I do with the character afterward.

In the end, it's just a game.  I'm there to have fun, and when I'm not having fun anymore, I'm done wasting time on it.

This is why as a GM I copy everything. I've been burned by petty players previously. If I need the info, it's on an offline word file, cataloged and dated. Game is over? Word file deleted.

This also allows me to pass along the information to a player who was removed before they could copy their stuff as well.

I understand loving your characters, I am quite attached to some I've played as a player. But if you enter a game you have to be ready to abandon your character, in a manner befitting a mature player (not destroying the game for others in your wake)

In reply to Lancebreaker (msg # 7):

I suppose it depends on the group and some GM's copy everything including what you are allowed to have as a character. For my games, it's freeform so I don't deal with systems and such. *shrugs*

I've kept a list of disingenuous to psychotic GMs. :)

Proper exit etiquette - thank the GM for his time, regretfully inform him that you have to leave, and ask him to remove you from the game.

Because unless you do that the game is going to keep coming back to haunt you for as long as people are posting in it.

I have a list of players as well that I steer clear of. Players and GMs that I will not under any circumstances be in a game with.

I think we all have that list forming regardless of the names on each list. Some people just don't mesh well with others.

In reply to Grimmond (msg # 13):

I lost my list as it was on my computer. So starting a game soon will be interesting to say the least. But yeah, I agree with the BBR here. When joining a game you accept that your character is part of someone elses world, you just control it. Even if you feel it is yours, it belongs to the game.

In reply to azzuri (msg # 5):

That is kind of sick.

bbr is absolutely correct (naturally) and that is the only way I quit a game, whatever the reason.

As a GM I keep copies of every character's information offline against sudden loss. If I neglected that, however, and a departing player deleted everything, it would be very little trouble to create a new PC/NPC to replace her/him and continue the game. I don't need an exact copy with all the details, just a reasonable facsimile until the story allows an appropriate exit.

I agree. There are a lot of sickos out there sitting alone in front of their computer terminals. You've been lucky.

And, what happens when the GM refuses to delete you and pile on? One then goes through a moderator just to escape.

I do try to keep RTJs in games to keep the names straight. They usually have the character information. I have over 150 RTJs in one game alone, and several years worth were inadvertently deleted. :(
This message was last edited by the user at 05:58, Thu 25 Aug 2016.

Why can't we all just play nicely together?

I'm with Shannara. It's just a game, the whole thing is an alternate reality. If you're not having fun, politely excuse yourself and move on.

There's enough hassle in RL without creating more here.

I draw the line at spoiling the game for others, though. Players deleting characters, or GMs deleting games, while others want to have fun. That's simply not right.

If you don't want to play that character any more, leave it behind for the GM to ease it out gradually, and use it in a different game/reality if you want to.

If you don't want to run that game any more, leave it behind for a co-GM to run on behalf of the players, and start another.

I've done both, and I've taken over characters and games to preserve them.

As for black lists - again, are you doing it for self-protection or for vindictiveness?
I'll usually give anyone a second chance, and almost certainly a third. Some wear out their welcome, though.

There are perhaps only two people I wouldn't game with again - without some very strong assurances.

One was a guy who started out with helpful suggestions but gradually got more demanding and eventually even tried to dictate how much time I should spend helping newcomers - he quit the day I was going to evict him (he felt he wasn't appreciated). He also deleted his character, but I always keep back-ups.

The other was a serial vanisher who was either the unluckiest woman on the planet, or a psychology student deliberately trying to mess with my head. She would vanish without a word for days, weeks or months, then come back, then vanish again - always with a good excuse, her child was sick, her computer died, her house burned down (twice!) I gave her the benefit of the doubt for as long as I could, but it was disrupting the game and eventually I gave her an ultimatum. I haven't heard from her since.

Do as you would be done by. It's really that simple.

I guess I'm fairly lucky I've never had this problem here. Sure, I'm willing to bet there's some members who will never play under me again, just like there's members I will never play under (though, they don't seem to be here any more), but I've never rage quit a game or had anyone rage quit on me.

I think the worst experience I've ever had as a player was the ST didn't reveal their horrible house rules until after the game started, so I left. A couple of days later I asked back in because I REALLY wanted to play my Promethean character, but the ST said I was a psycho. I tried to get an admin to remove my character, but was informed admins don't get involved. So I sucked it up and moved on. As someone said earlier, it's no longer my concern what happens after I leave.

As a DM/ST, I've never had anyone be so petty. Sure, I suffer the occasional rude comment if a game fails, but I can't help it if someone can't understand that a game just didn't work.

Speak of the Devil! Why haven't you released me from ------------- after all of these months? And, let's keep this G rated and not speak of the other game that you refused to return to me. :)
This message was last edited by the user at 12:20, Thu 25 Aug 2016.

My black list was for GM/players I did not get along with. Not just minor differences either. This could range from, continual overlooking of my posts, all the way to flat out favoritism against my characters. Honestly it is just a few gms that I can think of. The players I recon could get another chance since it has been some time. One even moved the game off site, and refused to tell me how to get to it saying I should know where to find it. @.@

That reminds me of a weird pm I got once where the player claimed he was just going to steal the settings and characters of the game for a book???
This message was last edited by the user at 11:50, Thu 25 Aug 2016.

In reply to azzuri (msg # 20):

Sorry, Azzuri, I thought I'd deleted you. It's done now. :)
This message was last edited by the user at 17:36, Thu 25 Aug 2016.

There's only one character that I've ever had to completely and totally purge and it was due to the GM and co-GMs complete and total backpedaling and, eventually, their abandonment. I was writing a fantasy novel at the time and there was an ad in the Wanted: Players forum for a freeform game that was a perfect fit for the main character of the novel. I thought it was a great chance to explore the mindset of that character and maybe flesh him out a little more, giving him substantially more depth than I would have been able to just from writing. I sent that GM a PM and laid out my thoughts and we agreed it was an excellent idea and that he was, surprisingly, a good fit. She also expressed her gratitude that I was bringing in a character that had some actual DEPTH because all the other characters that she'd been submitted were the one-dimensional Mary Sue/Author Avatar-types that those types of games reel in.

I had one stipulation to diving in to the game and that was the caveat that, if the game should fold or she was thinking about jumping ship, she'd allow me to bow the character out of the game, remove all identifying information about him, and change the character's name (in order to protect my future, potential IP). She agreed and I joined up. All was well for about two months when she suddenly elected to retire from her GM duties and pass the buck along to a new GM. Before she left, we had a conversation between the three of us (myself, the old GM, and the new one) where I reiterated my stipulation and, again, received assurances that I'd be given a fair and proper chance to excise my character if the need arises.

Two and a half months after the regime change, the game had completely changed focus. Rather than being a multiversal adventure full of fun, quirky, and interesting new worlds, it became a spherical yank, if you catch my drift, of Mary Sues trying to out-perfect each other. We had a white dragon goddess arguing the truth of divinity with a half-vampire Super Saiyan who had visited Midgar and collected the Life, Meteor, and Neo Bahamut Materias. We had an immortal werewolf with bi-polar disorder pursuing a romantic relationship with a half-Japanese, half-Kryptonian cyborg from a dimension where everybody had shapeshifting powers.

Meanwhile, my poor Elven Ranger-Captain was just slogging around in the background because everybody else was too busy playing fantasy footsie with each other to bother with an adventure.

I honestly had flashbacks to being in Rhy'Din again.

I submitted my Exit Request to both the new GM and the old (who still had an active PC in the game) and said, "Look, I just don't think this is going to work anymore. I've tried to engage other players and characters and I'm just being roundly ignored. The focus of this game has shifted from "explore strange, new worlds" to "find the darkest, shadowiest corner in the tavern and do nothing but brood". I'd like to leave this game and, per our agreement, bow [My Character] out."

I was met with a stonewalled silence. No recognition of what I said, no response, no removal. For two weeks, I quietly (not that anybody paid any attention) roleplayed out the agreed-upon Exit Scenario that we'd devised, simultaneously introducing his replacement - a secondary PC that I'd created solely for that purpose to avoid overly burdening the other PCs by a drop-out. After the Exit Scenario played out, I sent another request, this time making it known that "Hey, I know you two are busy and everything, but [First Character] has been taken out of play, per our agreement and [Second Character] is now in play. Can you do me a favor and delete [First Character] now?"

Silence. Again.

I eventually (about three MONTHS!! later) took matters into my own hands and just wiped his Character Sheet, his description, everything. The new GM noticed and then jumped on me about "disrupting" the RP by arbitrarily removing a "key" character from the game. A "key" character, mind you, that hadn't posted in three months and not a single, solitary soul noticed or even mentioned. My intended replacement character never even got a 'Hello' from other PCs or either GMs' characters.

That game did eventually fold and my character was STILL NOT DELETED.

Sorry for the essay, everybody, but it just kind of poured out of the old sieve. Sometimes when all other options have been exhausted, I feel it's okay to take your ball and go home.

In reply to EightBitEighties (msg # 23):

Ouch. Sounds like a pretty harsh experience. I would consider this more along the lines of "proper exit etiquette" considering the initial stipulations and your having gone out of your way to make sure that it wasn't a disruption.

Eightbiteighties, that sounds like some of the gms on my blacklist. I feel your pain man. At least they removed me from the game with no fuss.

In reply to Lancebreaker (msg # 24):

Well, I certainly appreciate being unintentionally allowed to vent about that situation. I did struggle for a while with feelings of guilt for quitting that particular game because I'm one of those "nice guys" who will keep giving inches until the mile is gone and then go look for another ruler, but I eventually made peace with having to protect myself and my character.

Merevel - I actually have both of the GMs on my Blacklist under a REAL SPECIFIC heading. I feel like I could have ALMOST tolerated the whole situation if they'd both just up and vanished because shouting into a vacuum is a lot better, in my opinion, than being stonewalled with apathy and indifference.

As a GM, I'm okay with the idea.  If the player isn't involved anymore, then what does it matter?  If the character has story-canon events behind them, then that involvement stands.  I don't need the player stats/info to play the character as a NPC, especially if I'm simply working to shuffle the character out of the story.

As a player, though, I might considering doing something like this if I've put a lot of work into the character and the character hadn't seen much play... I didn't invest all that time and energy so someone else could play him.

I've had the curious experience of seeing one of my characters from a game I left behind years ago held up and mocked on a separate website... with a backstory that had a lot of extra stuff added on to it after my exit.  While I obviously can't say for certain, it looked like the character was either adopted out or NPCd by the GM for a long time after, and taken in a completely different direction than I would have taken.