Re: Realistic Combat
I think I mostly agree with GamerHandle.
What helps me is a) not to apply combat rules unless they would be fun and interesting and b) not to take terms like "hit" and "damage" literally.
The first part means that in the example with the guard, the challenge (if there needs to be one) isn't rolling high enough and dealing enough damage, but planning and describing the approach to the guard. Or maybe the guard is just one part of a larger challenge. Point being that knifing the guard doesn't have to be handled by the combat rules if doing so doesn't make sense or wouldn't be fun. You kill the guard? Ok, the guard is dead. Now you have one move action in which to sprint across the hall and do the same thing to the other one standing next to the alarm gong. Go.
We like it when everything that involves the same actions can be handled by the same set of rules, because that makes things easy to adjudicate and more fair. The thief just took out two guards, so doesn't that mean he gets full XP for them? Doesn't that mean he can take out every equivalently tough creature that way? The real answer depends on one's own table, but the important thing to realize is that the basic answer is "Not necessarily."
The second part means that, to the degree a system allows it, I don't have to imagine a character taking a half-dozen hits with a greatsword. At most, he takes one, the last one, and everything else is dodged or parried. Or "a scratch" if one insists, though that doesn't always make sense when the attack is a greatsword or a dragonclaw.
Particularly in D&D (and particularly in 4th Edition) this lets me relax about the oddness of combat and lets me think of it more like fights in movies, where a landed blow generally has definite and final effect. And generally the mechanics support this, with a little extra thought: lost hit points don't matter to one's physical ability, whereas being "99% damaged" definitely would. Conclusion: lost hit points don't represent meaningful physical damage, until someone wants them to. Someone could be at 1 out of 250 HP and look hale and hearty - but the next arrow drops them like a sack of fat. Someone could be a 250 out of 250 and look like hamburger, but still be ready to fight on.
That is basically the way I've rationalized it to myself. If you want advice on how to see things my way, let me know. If you just want to challenge the way I see it, please don't bother. I don't for a minute believe anyone else will like to see it my way. I want the existing combat rules to be realistic (at least as much as movies are), so I look for leeway to think of them that way. If someone doesn't, then they won't accept any rationalization. That's up to them.