I've had a few frank conversations with other players/GMs over the years and there's a bit more to it than that.  Some people feel a certain anxiety that comes with being a GM and feeling like you have to post.  When you can't post, you find that you can't face the pressure of posting, so you don't post... which means the next time you should post, you feel even more pressure and even more don't post.  It leads to a weird avoidance thing that results in you vanishing.

I've not done any really deep psychological study of it or anything, but it's kind of like how people with OCD cleanliness issues are the ones most likely to end up on Hoarders (or whatever knockoff is still on the air).  When things build up, you don't know where to start, so... you just don't.

I have some of that to me, so I make it a point to communicate about my absences, plans, schedule, etc.  My entire posting for a week might be explaining why I haven't posted, but that's better, in the long run, than just not posting.  I can totally recover from a week like that.  I can't necessarily recover from missing two weeks and then having to catch up.

That sounds like me and Yahoo messenger. I used to go on almost daily. Then one week I didn't (forget why) and it spiraled to the point I don't go on at all. But I do think about it occasionally.
On my game, I have had that feeling, but my feeling of responsibility kicks in and I post Something, if just in OoC explaining my slow down. I am a tad OCD (like in my side quote) and suffer depression. I know this and do what I can to keep it together.

We all feel down from time to time, and I recognize the symptoms in myself, but it comes down to two words that are somewhat out of fashion these days: Duty and Responsibility.

When a GM creates a game, they are making a promise to their players to provide them with entertainment and to tell a story to them, or with them, depending on the game style. The GM then has a duty and responsibility to the players to provide what they promised.

If you invite guests around to your house for dinner, you don't decide to go out to the movies instead and leave your guests knocking at the door with no dinner and no explanation.

When you promise to read your children a bedtime story, you don't read two paragraphs and then walk out of the bedroom and watch TV instead cos it's less boring.

Yet for some strange reason, far too many people think that's perfectly acceptable behaviour in a game.

If I GM a game, I'm there until the story arc is completed (or until the players abandon me). If there is some reason beyond my control that prevents completion, or I'm so dejected that I really can't face it, then I would man up, log into the game, explain why I can't continue, and apologize to my guests for not being able to deliver the promise I tacitly made to them with my invitation to play.

I also shoulder the same responsibility as a player. If I sign up for a game, I'm making a promise that I'll play a particular role for as long as that role is needed in the plot. How would it be if an actor walked out with half the film in the can?

Again, if there is a particular reason why continuing is impossible, I log in, explain the problem and give an apology. I don't just vanish without a word.

We all have RL to bear, we all get disillusioned, but there is never an excuse for rudeness.

This is why I do not apply for games that require extensive rtjs anymore.  I have spent hours/days working on an rtj only to have the gm quit the game a couple days after starting it.  It is frustrating to put that much effort into something only to have the group die that you made it for.

As a GM and a player, I try to do my best to give the group when I have to leave. I do it mainly because it's courteous, but also because I want to have a good reputation. People take chances on you when you join a game, just like you take chances on them when you accept them. I know that, as a player and GM, if I see the name of a poster who disappeared on me once then I'm not going to apply for their game or accept them into mine. I expect other people do the same.

That's just my take on it, though.

In reply to icosahedron152 (msg # 9):

Bravo, as both a GM and a Player, I wished more who play here at RPOL felt that way!



The same for me as well.  An for me, sometimes not even getting a response to such a RTJ, that they have even read it.

All good points. But remember, RL takes priority.

I was just informed that one of the players in one of my games passed away just over a week ago. He was also a GM. Apparently, he'd been in poor health for awhile, and finally lost the battle.

So when a player or GM vanishes on you, keep in mind that something serious could have happened to him or her. Not all of us have someone that will jump on line and inform the community. That also applies when a computer dies, or we lose internet access.

Also, there's no test for maturity or responsibility when someone joins RPoL. Not everyone has those qualities... yet. They simply don't see RPoL as anything more than another video game or a lark that they get tired of as soon as it requires a bit of work that isn't fun.


That's just the nature of online rpgs.

Anyway, if a GM disappears, you can always try and find a new GM to take over. If there are enough players that keep posting, the admins can turn the game over to a new GM that steps forward.

Not unless the new GM was already a co-GM, they won't. All you can do otherwise is agree on a new GM amongst yourselves, copy what you can from your current game, and set up a new one.

There is another possibility which may not have been mentioned yet: People die.

Yes, this is a grim suggestion, but is it not a feasible suggestion? The vast majority of us do not know each other outside of our website personas, so we would't know if a fellow gamer had kicked the proverbial bucket. Games can last periods of years on RPOL, and many tragic things can happen to person over that span of time.

This is why I actually started GMing my own games on here. I got tired of losing GMs and wanted to be in a lasting game. I still play, but not quite as heavily as I once did.

Unfortunately, drobob, it doesn't entirely solve the problem, because our games still suffer from Player Abandonment Syndrome... :(

True. But the story can still go on. Each of mine have had dropouts, and either I'll get new ones in or just continue with the smaller party they have.

I think it's easier to find replacement players than to find a replacement GM.

This is especially true for the less popular settings and rule systems.

It cuts both ways equally.  Having players drop away without notice, or having to step in, can really wreck a game.  Its hard to salvage a deep drama story for a game when one of two of the key players have to be removed.  If that happens pretty far into a game, it can be a total disaster.  I've had a fair number of, at least in my own mind, great story ideas derailed by the focal player quitting the game.  Most of the time it means ditching a good amount of preplanning with no hope of salvaging it.

But, as has been said, its the nature of relying on other people for a game.  Some are unreliable, others are very reliable but may have unfortunate circumstances force them to back out. Have to just accept that as part of the game.

Very true, gd. This is why I try to not make any PC more important than others in my stories. That can be difficult sometimes though.

Once I started with nine players and had two left at the big finish. But those two stuck with it and we made a good game of it.

I'm not a big fan of replacement players. In part because I tend to run mystery-horror games (Call of Cthulhu mostly) and it's really hard for someone to catch up once the story's progressed through a few scenes. Besides players here seem very resistant to taking on existing characters, not to mention pregens.

Players and GMs drop here because there is a sense of animosity.  Simple enough.  That or life gets in the way, which it does happen.  There is one site, which I won't mention here (seeing the Mods watching and I'm learning slowly but surely), that keeps the animosity aspect of gms/players dropping out from happening as much.  This is why, even though I run one game here on RPOL, I most likely will not be starting anymore here on RPOL because of the previously mentioned reason and its lack of easy of access to check from phones.
This message was last edited by the user at 02:40, Fri 09 Sept 2016.

In reply to Sittingbull (msg # 22):

Animosity? How so?

In reply to Gaffer (msg # 23):

Likely means anonymity from the rest of the post
This message was last edited by the user at 14:15, Sun 03 July 2016.

I mean off of this site.  Your best friend could be playing in a game you are running on this site and he wouldnt know it, althought unlikely of course.  If the GM bails on the game the best friend would never know.  At least in a setting where there is no disappearing, there is less game sudden deaths and when they do happen at least you get a reason.
This message was last edited by the user at 02:41, Fri 09 Sept 2016.

The difficulty of player replacement depends a lot in the specific game.  I can be done in ways that aren't massively awkward to work around, although that doesn't click with every game system or GM.  I'm in a game that's well over 50K posts and has been running for more than 5 years.  Other than the GM, I'm the only one remaining from the game's beginning...but he designed the game in such a way that characters could be removed or added pretty much any time.  He doesn't expect new players to 'adopt' orphaned characters, preferring that they come up with their own.  Not every player that came in worked out...some had notions of what they expected the game to be, rather than reading the material on what the game actually was.  And when they discovered the game wasn't going to cater to them, they dropped out.  A lot have dropped for health reasons, or personal crises...a few came, tried it, and felt like it clicked.  But it can be done.

Replacing a GM presents a totally different challenge.

It is 'site' not 'sight'.  Sorry Sittingbull, I don't mean to come off as a ass.  But you misused the term, twice in the post above and also once in your post previous to that.  I just thought you should know.

In reply to facemaker329 (msg # 26):

Facemaker, that sounds interesting. I am fishing for a few ideas at this point; in generic terms, how were "vanishing PCs" handled?
At what point did he stop waiting for them to come back, if they didn't bother to let him know?
Thanks

My rule of thumb is two weeks without any word warrants removal from the game.

I tend to treat GM absence the same way, unless I know them to be reliable from other games.

In reply to Gaffer (msg # 29):

This man is a smart man, listen to him. Personally it depends on the expected posting rate and all that good stuff. RL comes first, but drop a notice please!

1-2 weeks is good.

No, all my GMs kind of follow me around on Skype. Let that be a lesson to my fellow roleplayers. Skype makes it easy to get together for a game. It also makes people kind of hang around with you all day between game sessions and can get weird. I spend so much time just shooting the breeze now.