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10:52, 28th March 2024 (GMT+0)

Vents with allowed responses - 3.

Posted by GamerHandle
NowhereMan
member, 291 posts
Fri 8 Mar 2019
at 16:21
  • msg #1337

Always...

In reply to Puckohue (msg # 1336):

My favorite is when trying to hash out the details of a certain problem/rule/whatever in a particular game: "Well, if you were playing [insert system here] you wouldn't have that problem."

It's gotten so bad in the gaming community at large that "Have you tried FATE?" have become a meme.
Isida KepTukari
member, 257 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Sun 10 Mar 2019
at 03:29
  • msg #1338

Stupid colds...

Look, pharmaceutical manufacturers, if you have an OTC medication that includes a nasal decongestant, it needs to work in all positions.  If I take a pill version of a decongestant, even the stuff I have to sign for, I swear to little apples they only work if I'm standing up and walking around.  As soon as go to, say, sit and read e-mail or surf the net, read, eat, or sleep, my nose slams shut.  Oddly enough, if I have a nasty cold, I usually am not going to feel up for standing up and walking around constantly just so I can breathe.  I want to rest so I can get better.

Now, the nasal spray decongestants work like a damn champ, cranking open both nostrils and keeping them open for the better part of 10-12 hours, but you can't use those for more than a few days (you get dependent on them).  And I'll use them (sparingly) if I know I'll need a good night's sleep or can't be constantly sniffling and snorting over my computer at work one particular day, but good grief, why can't the other "decongestant pills" do more than partially clear one nostril when you're doing anything other than power-walking?
littlegoth
member, 12 posts
Artist
Sun 10 Mar 2019
at 03:40
  • msg #1339

Stupid colds...

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1338):

Try taking an NSAID* if you don't have stomach issues.  Sometimes congestion is caused by swelling and the decongestant is doing what it can but it can't unswell tissue.

*NSAID - Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug - Ibuprofen and Naproxen Sodium are the most common versions.  Aspirin is another common one.  Acetaminophen isn't an NSAID.
Isida KepTukari
member, 258 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Sun 10 Mar 2019
at 07:44
  • msg #1340

Stupid colds...

I was cheerfully swallowing ibuprofen for the sinus pain, but I've been skipping that in favor of the combo cold/flu med pills I got, because that already had a painkiller, you guessed it, acetaminophen.  Time to break out the ibuprofen again!  (It doesn't give me stomach issues, for which favors, much thanks.)
littlegoth
member, 13 posts
Artist
Sun 10 Mar 2019
at 14:01
  • msg #1341

Stupid colds...

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1340):

Time to go back to the single ingredient tablets.  You take more pills, but are able to customise what you're taking to your exact symptoms.  Feel better soon!
NowhereMan
member, 294 posts
Wed 13 Mar 2019
at 07:28
  • msg #1342

Stupid colds...

I think this might be my first vent here. Hm... Anyway.

It's been a rough little while, and it's made my games suffer, but that's just icing on the cake.

My grandmother was hospitalized for cancer a few weeks ago. It was a close thing for a bit, but she's doing doing just fantastic now, though she's still in recovery. I haven't been able to be as available as I'd like, since I've been sick on and off for the whole time, and I don't want to inadvertently cause any complications.

I was thinking we were coming out the other side of things, but my family is apparently right in the middle of a series. My mother was diagnosed with pneumonia a week or so ago after having a nagging cough for a while beforehand. She's been on an inhaled steroid since then, which I was on when I was younger. It's a decently strong stimulant, so she's been awake constantly. That wouldn't be an issue, but she's on a lot of other drugs and is recovering from hip surgery, so her wandering around in the middle of the night isn't exactly an ideal situation.

Then today I get woken up by my highly pissed-off father to find out that my mother, who I had been planning to take to the doctor today, had decided she was going on her own (without bothering to tell anyone), and took my car to do so, then got admitted to the ER, leaving me without a vehicle to go retrieve her with, which left us both stranded for a while. She's back home now, though she's likely to go back in the morning for a consultation with the doctor. Hopefully she'll be less inclined to go on her own this time.

And just to put a cherry on top, I dislocated my ankle last night. It's been a Time.
Starchaser
member, 552 posts
GMT+0
http://bit.ly/2NvdzWG
Wed 13 Mar 2019
at 18:28
  • msg #1343

Stupid colds...

Sounds horrific. I hope everyone in your family (including you) gets better soon.
OceanLake
member, 1062 posts
Wed 13 Mar 2019
at 19:24
  • msg #1344

Stupid colds...

Fortunately, you have fortitude and are resilient.
NowhereMan
member, 296 posts
Thu 14 Mar 2019
at 05:33
  • msg #1345

Stupid colds...

I know it can come across as cold or even disconcerting that my overall attitude about the whole thing is "Generally Annoyed", but that's just who I am. I've got a disabled parent, a significant other, and two apprentices to deal with, and getting upset has never particularly helped with any of it.

My grandmother is on her way to recovery, so she can die stuck under her house like we've always known she was destined to. My mother is back home and underfoot where she belongs. My ankle is also back where it belongs, but it'll be sore for a few more days. Luckily, I found my cane.

Anyway, thanks for the support. I appreciate it. Hopefully I'll be able to get my games back on track before any of them crap out entirely.
Kessa
member, 584 posts
Dark Army:
Out to Lunch
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 01:19
  • msg #1346

Is being considerate really that hard?

I just got done moving a friend and I am just amazed how applestrudling ridiculous the whole thing was. First, this person has known about moving for over a month and does not work, have children, or any other pressing events in their daily life to interfere with pre-moving planning. Showed up to find almost nothing packed and lacking moving supplies-- the dishwasher and fridge/ freezer packed full.

Second, there was a week within which time this friend had to move from one place to another. Initially, moving was happening during the week and was changed to Friday on account of home availability problems-- okay, nothing to be done about that. We were all good to go with moving all the small stuff Friday and Saturday in cars and we were borrowing a trailer for large items on Sunday. Then, moving was happening Sunday and Monday, because there were supposed to be volunteers who were going to show up to move all the heavy things into a van that was being rented for those days. Then, moving suddenly had to happen Friday and Saturday again for large items, because the van rental was scheduled for those two days even though possession didn't happen until 3 PM Friday night and my friend needed to stop moving at noon on Saturday to go accompany one of their other friends to a volunteer event that ran the rest of the day. The items that were moved on Saturday weren't even large, heavy items, but the van was filled with small items that could have been easily tossed in a car completely negating the actual need for the van in the first place. Not to mention, all the heavy items that were left had to be carried by people strong enough to move them-- which were only actually available Saturday for moving. I have no idea what happened to the volunteers.

Now, today being Sunday, our hapless group, now vanless, had the fortune to still procure a small trailer. Somehow one able bodied man and one old dude with a bad back managed to stuff a giant sectional and another full size couch into this thing. Trip number two moved out the remainder of goods that were all dump-packed while that load was being dropped off. Then, once everything was off-loaded, we get told there's a giant bookshelf unit with glass doors we have to go pick up from a seller, which means a call has to go out to someone who is now working that day to leave work to help move this giant thing, because it's just not happening with the group we have already assembled.

Next, we can't even get a hold of the people to pick the thing up from, which means this guy who had to leave work is just waiting for this to happen so they can go back to work and hopefully not get yelled at for leaving. Due to some general grumbling and suggestions we should all just leave and forget this bookshelf, our friend offers to buy us all food while we wait. Mind, we have been moving since 9:30 AM (We were all told to show up at 8:30 AM and had to wait another hour for the trailer), one of the other group members brought us all breakfast out of kindness, and it's now about 2 PM. So far, there's been a few sodas in the fridge and some old, cold pizza, if we're feeling lucky enough to go for it, on offer. We finally manage to pick up the bookshelf and move it and then realize no one knows where it's going and it has to be measured, the room it needs to go in tetris-ed since we've just been dumping half packed boxes everywhere, and finally all the big stuff is in the house. Our group also cleaned up the old place after all the furniture was gone because it was absolutely filthy.

I have never ever encountered such a horribly planned move. I don't even know what to say. I feel like this was just horribly disrespectful of everyone's time and other commitments. When I move, I have everything pre-packed and labeled, even if I'm working full-time or splitting my time between work and classes. I have drinks and snacks for people during the day and they already know I'm buying dinner when we're done, even if it's cheapie pizza. I have a van set up for the day we are moving and we get the whole thing done in a day. Everyone knows when we're starting and where to show up at and I know who can make it and who can't. I'm just absolutely floored! I hope this friend likes their new home, because I'm never again moving them out if they don't!
OceanLake
member, 1066 posts
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 03:26
  • msg #1347

Is being considerate really that hard?

By the end, did this "friend" have a clue?
Kessa
member, 585 posts
Dark Army:
Out to Lunch
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 03:38
  • msg #1348

Is being considerate really that hard?

At the very least, they said, "Thank you." -_- I kind of imagine not, though. A few people stayed behind after the move was done to help unpack, because if packing was so hard, unpacking was probably not ever going to happen either.
evileeyore
member, 160 posts
GURPS GM and Player
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 04:17
  • msg #1349

April Fools

My fruiting eyes!  Why rpol, why?!?!?!
This message was last edited by a moderator, as it was against the ToU, at 04:20, Mon 01 Apr 2019.
tibiotarsus
member, 36 posts
Hopepunk with a shovel
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 07:28
  • msg #1350

April Fools

^  This is exactly what makes having a custom theme worth it. Get thee over to User Preferences, fiddle with a standard theme slightly, and you will never have to see the fruit salad on April 1 again.
evileeyore
member, 161 posts
GURPS GM and Player
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 07:57
  • msg #1351

Re: April Fools

tibiotarsus:
^  This is exactly what makes having a custom theme worth it. Get thee over to User Preferences, fiddle with a standard theme slightly, and you will never have to see the fruit salad on April 1 again.

Nah.  I like the black marble defualt too much.  And I'm lazy.  I just like griping three times a year...
OceanLake
member, 1067 posts
Mon 1 Apr 2019
at 21:41
  • msg #1352

Re: April Fools

Whatever scheme the administrators come up with is alright with me.
This message was last edited by the user at 21:42, Mon 01 Apr 2019.
Brianna
member, 2174 posts
Tue 2 Apr 2019
at 00:30
  • msg #1353

Is being considerate really that hard?

In reply to Kessa (msg # 1348):

If that person even mildly suggests she might move again, everyone should tell her they are going to be on the other side of the world when it happens.  No need to make it believable, your trip can very obviously be 'planned' for whenever she is moving, even if that changes, she doesn't deserve anything else!  Besides the lack of preparation, she didn't arrange to feed you??  Serve her right if you'd all left at lunch time, and 'forgotten' to come back.  When people help you move you 1) pay them, and/or 2) ply them with food and drink, though it's best if the alcoholic beverages aren't served till everything is done.
Kessa
member, 586 posts
Dark Army:
Out to Lunch
Tue 2 Apr 2019
at 03:10
  • msg #1354

Is being considerate really that hard?

Oh, I have no doubt that we will all be conveniently occupied whenever she decides to move in the future. She was quite unhappy with the cost of buying us all food, but I'm sure next time she can reconcile that cost with the cost of paying for her moving labor from a contract agency instead. Even if she had financial issues, which she didn't, she could have at least provided water or something while the moving was happening!
Brianna
member, 2175 posts
Wed 3 Apr 2019
at 00:53
  • msg #1355

Is being considerate really that hard?

In reply to Kessa (msg # 1354):

Wow, she was even upset about feeding you?  And no water?  She's lucky you didn't all get dehydrated and pass out!  What a tool, do any of you even still speak to her?
Kessa
member, 587 posts
Dark Army:
Out to Lunch
Wed 3 Apr 2019
at 02:28
  • msg #1356

Is being considerate really that hard?

In reply to Brianna (msg # 1355):

She picked a place of moderate expense and then complained that if she ordered food from there for everyone it was going to be expensive. We were all lucky it was an uncharacteristically cool day and a few of us brought our own drinks. I haven't gone over since I moved her even though she is just down the block. I'm not sure about others.
Brianna
member, 2176 posts
Thu 4 Apr 2019
at 03:28
  • msg #1357

Is being considerate really that hard?

In reply to Kessa (msg # 1356):

I don't blame you, I think I'd consider moving away.  Well, at least crossing the street to avoid her if I saw her coming.
Isida KepTukari
member, 260 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Sat 6 Apr 2019
at 01:50
  • msg #1358

My sympathy is running dry

My one remaining face-to-face game is being reduced to "whenever one person can handle it" and being co-opted as therapy, and I do not like it.

So, over the past three years my face-to-face gaming group (and good friends) has moved to various other parts of the country, thousands of miles away in some cases.  As of last August, none of them are in town, and we only recently started gaming again live via the internet.

That makes the one face-to-face game I have left important to me.  This game is one I also DM.  It's for two of my husband's co-workers, both of whom are entirely new to gaming.   Hubby wanted them to learn D&D 3.5, as its his favorite system.  (Any protestations to the contrary that perhaps new gamers should perhaps start on a simpler system fell on deaf ears.)

The two co-workers need a lot of help, but they seem to having fun over the past year we've gamed.  However, one of them, a woman I will call Jane, is falling into the same pattern as one woman in my other gaming group.  I will call her Elle.  Elle has a bright personality, creative, funny, effervescent; she's a joy to be around and a fantastic roleplayer.  However, she has a lot of mental health issues, and in the last few years before she moved they began to take over her life.  While she was trying to get help, and we were as supportive as we could (coming over to her if she couldn't come over to us, bringing her food, driving her places, rescheduling things to when she was feeling more up for them), past a certain point we simply couldn't wait on Elle.  She understood that, because it had gotten to a point where we were constantly waiting until the literal last minute to see if she would be able to show up for any given event.

I very much understood what was going on - I have been through times in my life for very similar things.  I have been in treatment for them and know how difficult it can be.

(Elle moved to be closer to more helpful family members, is getting better help, and is doing much better.)

However, we are starting to go through the exact same thing with Jane.  She has also been diagnosed with various mental health issues, and is getting help.  But this also means that for several months we have been waiting until maybe half a day's notice to see if we're gaming or not.  Sometimes the answer wouldn't come until the afternoon of the game (a few hours before).  With my work schedule, that meant I never knew if I needed to get the house clean and get up early, or if I could sleep in that day (as I'm nocturnal).  I understand that mustering the wherewithal for social interaction can be difficult for all the above-stated reasons, but I feel it's disrespectful to keep me waiting until a few hours beforehand to know if you're going to show up or not.  I'd like 24 hours' notice, at least, so I can plan my free time accordingly.

As Jane is going to continue to be unreliable because of her issues and her treatment (which I am happy she's getting), the other co-worker doesn't want to game with just my husband (as it leaves Jane out).  I proposed getting some other people in the group, so we would have a quorum, and thusly could game on a more continuous basis, rotating characters in and out as necessary, but keeping the game on a regular schedule.

But Jane doesn't want other people in the group, as she's socially shy and doesn't want to "embarrass" herself in front of other people.  As a note, the people I wanted to bring in are not the kind who would do such a thing; I'd never invite them to my house if they were.  I brought it up to my husband, and he doesn't want other people either if Jane doesn't.  He's content to game whenever she can muster up the wherewithal... and if the other co-worker is free that night too.

So the one face-to-face group I have is subject to whether or not one person is feeling up for it.  I can't add anyone else to the group, because she wouldn't like it.  And I don't have enough free time to add another game elsewhere with different people.  If this situation doesn't improve, I am likely going to cancel the game entirely.  I don't mind seeing these people socially, but as it seems that our interaction will be sporadic, I don't want to invest in making a game that no one can remember what we were doing or how to play from session to session.
icosahedron152
member, 943 posts
Sat 6 Apr 2019
at 04:17
  • msg #1359

My sympathy is running dry

Ouch! I feel for you, Isida. It can be difficult to figure out where to go in situations like that. Especially since it could so easily blow into a 'domestic'.
Seems to me the key to this is getting your husband onside.

Does he realize how much pressure this is putting on you? (and if he's a man, no, it isn't obvious, it'll have to be explained to him in words of one syllable).

Maybe you need to show him the message you posted here, or present him with something very similar, so he truly understands how this is affecting you.

I suspect at present he sees you as the 'capable woman' dismissing 'poor Jane's' problems. See if you can summon his inner Paladin to protect you instead of Jane - without it seeming like a bitchy 'it's me or her' ultimatum. A few tears of your own might not go amiss.

Once you have your husband backing you, hopefully the rest of the situation should fall into place, you can form a more stable group, and 'Jane' can decide for herself when or if she plays, without her issues dragging your game down.

I'm reminded of the term 'enabling' with matters of this nature, but I can't say whether it fits here.

Obviously, only you know how to handle your husband or your friends, and only you can decide whether this suggestion is valid for you. I don't want you citing me in a divorce case! ;)

Good luck.
tibiotarsus
member, 37 posts
Hopepunk with a shovel
Sat 6 Apr 2019
at 08:07
  • msg #1360

My sympathy is running dry

If they're friends worth keeping, they don't care about the state of your house. That said, if cleaning is a genuine issue - piles of stuff causing you stress, neglected washing up threatening to moulderise and so on - it might help to do it the night before potential games on the regular anyway, to build a habit that makes the threat of potential embarrassment less pressing on you. That only leaves the getting up issue, and Jane surely can't object to being told that you now have obligations (no need to be specific) that require 24 hours' notice to rearrange for game, so she has to shift her decision period back a bit.

Lastly, you aren't welded to the campaign - play something else (of your own choice rather than your husband's) with the other folk if you can't with these lads, maybe on a different night/at their place. That way you have a fallback you're automatically invested in holding up that support in your life. Part of recovery or learning to deal with permanent Issues is taking responsibility for handling their effects on one's life: communication and boundaries will help Jane with that.
Isida KepTukari
member, 261 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Sat 6 Apr 2019
at 08:30
  • msg #1361

My sympathy is running dry

Getting the house ready is not as much of an issue; Hubby and I work on that together and usually do most of it a couple days ahead.  It's the constant waiting of "will we, won't we" that grinds my gears, no matter the cause.  And because we're in this very tentative pattern of gaming, I don't want to commit to another group with the same expectation of, "I'll show up only if this other person can't make it tonight, and I'll only be able to tell you less than 24 hours beforehand."  That's not fair to another group.

I've brought up much of this to my husband before, though perhaps more framed in scheduling conflicts than in the frustration I'm feeling.  I have mentioned the comparison to Elle and pointed out we seem to be headed down the same road, in terms of how Elle's availability dictated how we spent some of our free time.

Hubby is a bit of white knight when it comes to helping people.  I understand and I very much understand Jane needs help and accommodation (like Elle did), but I have also learned that I must set boundaries and not get sucked into being a crutch.

If we can't get this resolved after discussion (once we are past a current spate of scheduling issues from all sides of the table), I will need to sit down with them and figure out what anyone actually WANTS from this game.  And if the most enthusiasm I can get is a shrug, then we can cancel it and go do regular occasional friend nights with movies and board games.  If no one's interested in sharing a story with me as a Dungeon Master, then I am not going to hold this game together with my will and bare hands.
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