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12:07, 28th March 2024 (GMT+0)

Vents with allowed responses - 3.

Posted by GamerHandle
Kioma
member, 42 posts
Wed 27 Jun 2018
at 18:03
  • msg #1237

No good choices

As a cat-lover and a person who's lost more than one human family member (immediate and extended) to cancer, I'll add my voice with a potentially unpopular opinion:

There comes a point when love and cruelty look the same.  Prolonging the cat's agony (even if it's only temporary) because of the very natural desire to avoid inevitable grief is not doing their beloved companion any favours.  It's hard, it's painful and it's part of the cruel irony that our companion animals live shorter lifespans than we do, but it is still what it is.  Right now the cat has only temporary quality of life and when in pain and distress, is undoubtedly taking what comfort s/he can from his/her companions.  Imagine how much worse that would be if Mum and Dad aren't home, are nowhere to be found, and the pain meds stop working.

Have the cat put to sleep.  It's the only compassionate and selfless thing to do in the circumstances, and your sister and her boyfriend have all of my sympathy for such a terrible situation.
Brianna
member, 2152 posts
Wed 27 Jun 2018
at 20:46
  • msg #1238

No good choices

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1235):

I agree with the other posters: put the poor baby out of her misery.  Been there, held on longer than I probably should have - of course the cat in question hated taking her meds too.  Remember that cats don't tend to let on until they are very sick, so she likely has been feeling ill for longer than they knew.  Now she has periods when the meds are helping, but she has to remember that misery is coming around again.  Life is already not that great for her, it would only be worse if she has to die without the support of her people.  Consider also, is she going to willing take all those meds for the caregiver, or is she going to object (more stress!)?

Besides the cat's side of it, this all sounds very unfair for the caregiver.  Even if all goes OK, that's a LOT of responsibility to put on someone else.  I remember caring for my daughter's senior cat, who needed and hated meds, but wasn't in anything like as precarious health but was very old, and worrying every time I went to check on her that I might find a body instead!
Fyrerain
member, 91 posts
Fri 29 Jun 2018
at 02:10
  • msg #1239

No good choices

Having lost a horse while I was on a road trip (an accident -- but caused by an irresponsible caretaker -- my traveling companion's husband), I can say that getting that kind of information while traveling is a good way to ruin a trip, and haunt you ever after.

I refused to travel to see family over the holidays last year when my dog was ill, although I had reliable friends who would have taken care of him. As the owner, it was part of my "contract" with my dog to not abandon him when his fate was so uncertain. I owed it to him to be there to make that ultimate decision, if a crisis came, and to see it through beside him.

So, personally, if the situation is that chancy, I'd stay there to deal with it. Or call it done before the trip, so my pet would have me with them at the end -- and to not get ambushed by grief and guilt that would not only ruin the vacation, but linger long, long after it's over.
OceanLake
member, 1043 posts
Fri 29 Jun 2018
at 03:47
  • msg #1240

No good choices

And after...? Indications are that animals in your care receive loving care. An animal shelters has a cat that needs somebody like you.
CrazyIvan777
member, 242 posts
Tue 3 Jul 2018
at 17:55
  • msg #1241

Another week gone

So, I'll admit to being someone who doesn't socialize comfortably. I get way too self-conscious. I used to have friends that lived close to me, but over the past couple years, they've all relocated due to jobs or whatnot. Now, my only real face-to-face contact is my Tuesday night gaming group. I interact with other people via the internet, but Tuesdays is really just my social time, and something I really look forward to.

Last week we had to cancel due to some last minute work stuff from one of the players. It happens, and while cancellation use to really bother me, I've managed to mostly get over it.

This week, another cancellation, due to the health of the hostess. She's really messed up about it, and I've made it clear that it's not a huge deal- that her health is much more important than a game. And I very much believe that.

What does make it difficult for me is this: This week is my birthday. I had hints that tonight's game would have some birthday shenanigans directed my way. Maybe even cake. And for someone who doesn't really have face-to-face social connections, that would've meant a lot. Birthdays are a big deal to me, and I always try to find ways to make them special for my friends. And now it feels like... Well. I know none of it was intentional. I know they're not feeling great about it either. But I was really looking forward to tonight's game. I was really looking forward to spending time with my friends. And now? Nope. I'll just be here. Feeling alone. Falling further into depression.

Fun, huh?
OceanLake
member, 1046 posts
Tue 3 Jul 2018
at 19:55
  • msg #1242

Another week gone

Well, maybe...learn to play bridge.
engine
member, 632 posts
Tue 3 Jul 2018
at 20:40
  • msg #1243

Another week gone

In reply to CrazyIvan777 (msg # 1241):

I can sort of understand having to cancel due to not having a place to hold the game. Seems like a weak link in any plan.

It's less easy for me to understand cancelling simply because one person couldn't attend. I mean, perhaps one particular game hinges on that person (which, again, is setting up a weakness in the plan for that game), but the people who can attend could at least still gather and play something, if not just hang out. Fate is one of many "pick-up" style RPGs out there, and there are lots of other options for if the usual game can't run for some reason.

So, it's a bummer that you missed a week like this, but I hope it encourages you and the others to find ways to route around these kinds of setbacks.

And happy birthday.
ShadoPrism
member, 1223 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Tue 3 Jul 2018
at 21:21
  • msg #1244

Another week gone

In reply to CrazyIvan777 (msg # 1241):

Maybe move the game / meeting to another place for this one time ?
Just a thought.
Tyr Hawk
member, 350 posts
You know that one guy?
Yeah, that's me.
Thu 5 Jul 2018
at 19:01
  • msg #1245

So, Yesterday...

I lost my phone yesterday, and I figured that would be about the end of the story. I lost it, I found it, or someone else found and returned it. You know, phone stuff. It happens. Alas, no. That was only the beginning of the story of yesterday.

As it turns out, my phone had slipped out of my pocket when I was walking my new pupper. She is adorable, and I swear that I love her more than anything, but she's also still being house-trained and so has to go outside all the time. She is the reason I've been bone-tired for just over a week as of yesterday, and so part of the reason I didn't notice my phone had slipped out of my pocket. Not nearly the entire reason, not by a long shot, because I can be forgetful and oblivious at the best of times, but she played a small part in it (on two levels). I still love her, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I lost my phone. No big deal, of course. I go back out to find it and realize that it's not anywhere along the walking path I took, or where I sat down (which would've been the most-likely places for it to fall out). So, someone picked it up, right? Of course they did. It's the fourth (MURICA!), so I figured whoever found it would contact the landlords tomorrow (a.k.a. today; I live in a big apartment complex), or I'd go around and post a flyer or two. Send a lock signal through Google. You know, the usual. I'd have my phone back by the weekend at the latest.

There's a catch though. Google can't find my phone. It goes straight to voicemail. Nothing is coming up for anything I know how to do (I worked at a major cell phone company for a while). Okay. Whoever has it turned it off, or it ran out of battery. I gotcha. Fine. No big deal. The flyers will help and such. I go to the grocery store to look for some things my roomie needs to make dip.

Don't know what one of the things on the list is. No idea at all. Look up and down five aisles. Nothing. Flag down a rep, he doesn't know either and says he'll go get someone who does. So I wait. And wait. And wait. And eventually I turn around and there's dude walking out of the store, talking to someone about something, but still no one to help me after a good fifteen minutes (because I'm patient and was trusting people yesterday). At this point, I give up on waiting and on getting help and I scan the aisles again, this time managing to find what I'm looking for. There are four different types of what I was looking for an no indication which one I was supposed to get. So, I got 2/4 and decided she could live with it since it wasn't specified.

Trouble are over now, of course. Just need to wait to g-

NOPE. Around 19:30 (7:30 PM for those who use that other clock format), I get an email. "Thank you for your purchase!" it says. "$100 has been charged to your account."

What the bananas.

So, at this point it occurs to me that not only did my phone get picked up by a grape in the neighborhood that would break into a phone they found, but that this particular breed of guava also likes to use said phones to charge for things to someone else's account. One might call me a fool for having believed in the goodness of people up until that point, but, you know, most people are just fine. They're not the kind of folks who do that (in my experience), so it happened. I still don't fully know how given the lock codes and everything I sent, but that's beyond the point. I trusted, and my trust was not just shot to dragonfruit, but now I had a whole other set of issues to deal with.

I get ahold of customer support, suspend the line, contact the fraud department, they direct me to customer care, customer care can't do anything until the charge actually hits the bill. Turns out the charge was through Google Play for a Home Depot gift card, so I contact Google. Nothing on my account, support guy call me "Tyler" in chat despite my name appearing as "Tyr" on every single message I send to him. Not even paying attention, apparently, but the charge isn't on my account, he says, and it doesn't seem to be, so good. So they used their account to charge it to my bill. Awesome.

My pupper pees on the carpet.

Remember when I said I loved my dog? I do. I swear by everything I have ever sworn on that I love that dog more than anything else in my life right now. I even named her Corazon (Spanish for "heart", though I call her "Cora" for short), because she's my heart, and I've only had her a week but I fall hard and fast, especially for puppies. I'm soft like that. Anyways, she peed on the carpet while I'm talking to three people at once (because I wanted it solved fast, and I can juggle that many conversations if two of them are chat-based). It was close to her walk time (though it should've still been twenty minutes off, so I think I need to walk her more often to get her trained faster, which is going to cut into my sleep even more), and I know she's just a puppy and can't be blamed but I was not in the kind of place where I could deal with that. Luckily, a friend was over and cleaned up after her while I finished talking to everyone.

I'm almost definitely not getting my phone back at this point. In fact, I've pretty much given up on that, which means buying a new phone. The phone was a few years old. I'd finished paying it off about six months ago, so no more insurance on something totally paid off, so nothing to cover the cost of a replacement. No old phone. Just get to go and add more money to my phone bill a year or two earlier than planned. Which, you know, not the worst thing ever, but I was enjoying having that extra money every month (which I mostly put into savings, because momma didn't raise no fool).

Everything finishes up and I'm tired, and I'm exhausted, and I decompress by detailing a short situation in my head where I track this person down and, at the end, bad things happen to them. I don't punch a pillow, because I don't want to associate getting mad with punching things subconsciously. I don't scream, because I live in an apartment complex and I'm not that kind of neighbor. Also, I don't have the energy to scream at this point, since I've been up for about 19 hours. I take Cora for her bedtime walk, she's very good about that, and then I have to figure out how to set alarms on my computer that will actually wake me for her other walks throughout the night.

And, again, that should've been it, but in the morning when my roomie gets home from work she says that the charge means I need to contact the police, and she forgot to walk Cora when she came in because she's tired, so there's another accident. So I call them and the way they talk to me it sounds like nothing's going to happen, but I reported it anyways, with my retainer still in because I didn't have time to get it out before rushing Cora outside. And then it was cold and wet when I got outside and I just wanted to break down when Cora pooped (it's okay to say pooped, yeah? I don't usually talk about it, but I figure everybody poops) and it apparently was tied to her insides by a string I couldn't see or something, so when I tried to remove a hanging piece it hurt her, which I'd never encountered in almost twenty years of owning dogs, and it broke my heart to hear her whine. So, I learned a new thing while feeling like what I was trying to clean up.

And then there were a lot of other little things like tiny glitches, and fireworks upsetting my cat, and other people not cleaning up after their dogs, and cold food, and wrist bites that broke the skin (she's teething, but she bit too hard during play), and someone took a mostly innocent comment I made and blew up at me for it, and, and, and...

Anyways, to make a long story short I get to go get a new phone later today now.

Yay...

TL;DR Edition: Tyr's phone was stolen yesterday and his heart peed on the floor twice. Tyr doesn't trust anyone today, because yesterday he used it all up, but it's not personal. Spelling and grammar were not checked, because this is a vent, even if it's as long as an essay.

TL;DR for TL;DR Edition: I just wanna go home and sleep.
ShadoPrism
member, 1224 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Thu 5 Jul 2018
at 20:32
  • msg #1246

So, Yesterday...

Sleep, I remember that, it's what I got before I got pets and spammers who don't know that not everyone lives on what ever time it is in the country they are calling from (2am this morning, guy with thick indian accent calls and tries to sell me a Senior Benifits package. I politely informed him it's 2am here and he should burn in the devils patio for calling the US that early. Then I hung up on him.)
6am rolls around and one of my cats decides it's time for breakfast, so he stands just outside my door and yowls at me till I get up and try to kick him for waking me up, again.
I have to sleep with my door closed, otherwise he climbs in to my bed and head buts me till I wake up, or he will kneed his claws in to my feet or legs before he naps on them. I got so many small wounds on my legs from him it's not funny. (Being diabetic this is no light matter.)
I love my kitty, I really do, but there are times I consider puting him on the screen porch with a bowl of water and a litter box for a time. (But the neighbors don't like his yowling anymore than I do either.) So I can't really do that.
I named him Betelguise, like the star, but sometimes he acts more like the version from the movie ...

This rant brought to you from 4 hours (a night; at best) sleep over the last week ...
acera
member, 145 posts
Thu 5 Jul 2018
at 22:31
  • msg #1247

So, Yesterday...

In reply to Tyr Hawk (msg # 1245):

I don’t know what to say about your cell phone issues, but for what it’s worth, you seem like the kind of person that that dog will love until the end of time. I’ve had to deal with the string out the butt thing with three different dogs over the last five years; they don’t hold grudges, they do remember that you helped them that one time!
Brianna
member, 2154 posts
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 00:09
  • msg #1248

So, Yesterday...

In reply to Tyr Hawk (msg # 1245):

If she will actually eat string, you need to be careful about leaving any (also elastics and ribbon, etc) where she can get it.  I've heard that sometimes it can get tangled up in the intestines instead of passing.
acera
member, 146 posts
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 00:43
  • msg #1249

So, Yesterday...

In reply to Brianna (msg # 1248):

It can, so if it’s not coming out easily with a gentle tug, it’s best to talk to a vet. (It may also just be connected to a fecal object further up the line).
SunRuanEr
member, 69 posts
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 02:32
  • msg #1250

So, Yesterday...

In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 1246):

I have a cat that used to do the same thing, with the yowling and the being obnoxious when she decided it was time for me to get up. In her case, it also included winners such as trying to crawl through the miniblinds/tear the curtains from the wall if she could get into the room, or destroying the carpet outside the door trying to claw her way in if I shut her out.

The morning she yanked a curtain rod from its anchor, I decided enough was enough and went and got her a kitty bed and a night light for the laundry room. Now she gets tucked in every night (with a treat) and stays in her room blissfully unaware until it's time for breakfast because I actually got up on my own.

Might be worth a shot.
ShadoPrism
member, 1225 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 03:46
  • msg #1251

So, Yesterday...

In reply to SunRuanEr (msg # 1250):

Tried something like that. Did not work at all. He is Very needy. Especially since his brother died not so long ago. My other older cat just follows along and is pretty quiet. She only shows her ire by clawing the woodwork next to the door where the kitty food is kept. So far all home remedies to stop that behavior do not work. (someone suggested I put up sheet metal, like they use to block off squirrel holes, but I am not sure I want to listen to the sound of claws on metal.)
Surgere
member, 17 posts
Rise
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 20:41
  • msg #1252

So, last year...

Alright, here we go.

So, a year ago I decided to move out of my parents house. You know, couldn't afford college, clashed with my parents, and wanted to "find myself". I decided to reconnect with my grandparents who my mother had removed from our lives for reasons I didn't understand. That was mental and emotional nightmare, nothing like being torn apart by two sides of a family who swear the other side is wrong and they love you more, then realizing it's really just a "political" game and you're nothing more than a weapon to them. So I made another poor choice and decided to move out into the desert to help some buddies illegally grow weed in a warehouse. Fun right? After my best friend is killed for stealing a truck and I'm visited in the middle of the night by random people hiding drugs in my closet telling me my friend is dead and they can't talk about it, I decide to burn off. Thanks no thanks for the apartment and camaro they gave allowed me to use.

So I go to Dallas, TX. Because, you know, the love of my life since I was 17 lives there and she told me she couldn't be with me because I associated with criminals(quite a wise girl). I flip my whole life for her. Do the whole 4am-noon 6 days a week,walk for an hour in the freezing cold because I have no car and work at a dead end job that bores me terribly because that's what she wants right? A stable law abiding man? Heh, now she can't be with me because I was cut open months ago over a pound of weed and have a horrendous scar across my ribs and have nightmares because my friend was killed and my head is all messed up from my family. But it's all good. I'l go to a counselor. They'll help, right? I mean if you consider the counselor looking at me and sighing and saying "Well, (Surgere), you are an intelligent and brave young man who has not once beat around the bush with me. I don't know if you'll choose crime or a legal life, I do now that no matter what you do you'll be good at it." Thanks doc, I didn't know that. Well, I guess I can try to join the US Marines because even though I'm partially deaf and likely can't get in it's my childhood dream and I'm an adrenaline junkie. My recruiter loves me, I score high on the ASVAB and even though I could be anything in the military he agrees Infantry (Marine Force Recon) is right up my alley. But then I fail the hearing test. No waivers for that. Sorry kid, you're automatically disqualified. But that kid with glasses is in!

So, what does my young mind decide? Fruit everyone! They can tell me I can't be a firefighter, a cop, in the military, but they can't tell me I can't be a criminal! So off I go. I mean, the love of my life keeps having excuses for why we can't be together and now she's dating a guy who loves 23 hours away from her.

So I go down a road of crime. And you know what? I. love. it. It's all the adrenaline and respect and rebellion I want. Then I'm a leader as well and now I've got a crew. Course, one of those guys I've known since middle school has a fight with me and off he goes to call the police, telling them I'm conspiring to commit bank robbery. Well boom. Now, I'm living in a small town where nothing happens and there are only 20 cops, but boy do those cops have fun with me. I believe I was literally arrested by all of them. With guns drawn, put to the back of my head, where they threaten to kill me if I flinch. In a harsh manner they threaten me. That's alright, I know they won't kill me. They're cops. long as I do as I'm told I'm safe. I'm a rebel too. So I smirk. Smile. I know I'm more or less in control. Sure, my buddy is bawling and crying in the seat next to me as they drag us out but I'm good. I always wanted to see prison would be like, since I chose to be a criminal I knew the risks. It would be a learning experience. A chance to network and learn more too. And I knew there was no evidence. I was innocent in the eyes of the law. Boy, if only I knew how bad they could destroy your life. So, formally, I was arrested for burglary of a habitation, since I had sold property to a pawn shop that came up stolen(that's what happens when you're living in a car and offer a guy who turns out to be a drug dealer a ride and then let him use your ID to pawn things...so naive). They hold me for 5 months, then release me on bond. Also, they refuse to give back the thousands of dollars worth of property they illegally seized that has no tie to the case I was arrested for! So I have to wait. and wait. and I can't pay off my 2,000 dollar debt to various places because I have court in less than 2 weeks where they may or may not sentence me or drag this whole process out and so have not got a job. And, I went back to my parents since it was a stable environment but they are beyond broke and live 4 hours away from my court.

Oh, on the good hand, I did work on an RPG while in jail and studied science so it wasn't a completely horrible experience. Just a traumatic one. Because now I'm trying to reevaluate my life choices. But I feel terribly alone. Because jail changed me. I'm different. But everyone else is still the same, yet different. And my social circle is homeschooled conservative parents and kids who have no idea the things I've been through...

But I'm good. Because I'll always be good. Just need to get into college, maybe some therapy or a group, and keep right on going.
OceanLake
member, 1047 posts
Fri 6 Jul 2018
at 21:20
  • msg #1253

So, last year...

Well, that is something to read....and well-written.
icosahedron152
member, 872 posts
Sun 8 Jul 2018
at 08:19
  • msg #1254

So, last year...

Surgere, the fact that you’ve vented in the thread that allows responses suggests that you’re looking for a response, maybe even some help, or at least commiseration.

You’ve been through some pretty rough stuff there, but it sounds like you’re headed in the right direction. Folk who’ve seen stuff in the military feel different and have a hard time rejoining society, too. Some of them are strong enough to make the adjustment, put it behind them, and get on with life, and others fall apart.

The obvious pull is to associate with others who have been inside, because they know what you’ve been through, but that just leads down the same path, and next time around it might be worse. It sounds like you know that. For that reason, therapy or a group might work for you or it might not. Sounds like it wasn't too effective last time, but if it's a legal requirement, you go.

College is always good, provided you don’t get in with a crowd that’s doing something stupid. You’ve been there, you know where it leads.

Get yourself a decent education, Surgere, and go do something great with your life. Maybe you could even move abroad to countries that are less hidebound on who they accept into their public services. There’s a whole world out there.

Right now, you’re free and you’re alive. Keep it that way, brother.
acera
member, 147 posts
Sun 8 Jul 2018
at 12:36
  • msg #1255

So, last year...

In reply to Surgere (msg # 1252):

I can’t say I’ve experienced of the things you wrote about, but I’m here for you if it makes you feel less alone, because I know how that feels.

The fact that you want to change makes me think that you probably will. I second what icosahedron152 said: get a decent education and go so something great with your life. There are definitely places where they will consider you for employment in public services even if you have a criminal record.

Good luck with where you’re going!
V_V
member, 765 posts
Wed 11 Jul 2018
at 06:36
  • [deleted]
  • msg #1256

Gaming with PTSD and OCD & it frequently coming out in game

This message was deleted by the user at 06:39, Wed 11 July 2018.
trollnystan
member, 8 posts
Thu 26 Jul 2018
at 08:59
  • msg #1257

Dice roller

I don't know what it is but I really don't like using the dice roller. Feels like we rarely get any good rolls.

Probably it's because it feels like it's more out of our hands than when rolling real physical dice and it's all in my head. I mean, I've had some pretty terrible dice rolls with real dice, but then at least I can change dice and feel like my luck might change.

All in my head I know. But argh! Out of the last 11 Perception rolls (D&D5E) we've done, only 3 have been over 11. Frustrating, lol.
LordXenophon
member, 3 posts
Thu 26 Jul 2018
at 12:49
  • msg #1258

Dice roller

In reply to trollnystan (msg # 1257):

On the other hand, there is zero chance of your dice rolling into the domain of your cat, knocking over the DM screen, bouncing into the bean dip, knocking over the other die roll you were waiting for the DM to look at, getting lost among your pile of other dice, rolling across the party treasurer's calculator, or landing corner-up in the middle of your PHB. And the dice in the die roller never, ever smell funny.
LordXenophon
member, 4 posts
Thu 26 Jul 2018
at 12:54
  • msg #1259

Dice roller

And for the dragon who died of Phantasmal Killer, I can't see why your DM didn't just substitute a bigger dragon for his Bigbad. Nothing else really needed to be done, except maybe changing the flavor text, so that it keeps pointing out that the other dragon is bigger.

And the bigger dragon needs a name. I suggest, "Mom."

That's how I would have handled it, anyway.
This message was last edited by the user at 17:00, Thu 26 July 2018.
trollnystan
member, 9 posts
Thu 26 Jul 2018
at 12:59
  • msg #1260

Dice roller

In reply to LordXenophon (msg # 1258):

Ha true! Although we have as a rule in our IRL games that only rolls in the dice trays - we made ours out of empty kleenex boxes - count. Which can be a different kind of frustrating when the die lands outside the box and it's a natural 20 xD
engine
member, 647 posts
Thu 26 Jul 2018
at 13:46
  • msg #1261

Re: Dice roller

trollnystan:
All in my head I know. But argh! Out of the last 11 Perception rolls (D&D5E) we've done, only 3 have been over 11. Frustrating, lol.

What has happened as a result of those low rolls?

My goal when I GM is not to call for or make rolls unless every possible outcome of the dice will be acceptable, i.e. not ruin enjoyment. Otherwise it's like I'm gambling with the fun of the game itself, putting that at stake, which is pointless. Some things, like combat rolls in D&D, can generally only have disappointing, uninteresting results on a failure, but I ask that my players be prepared to deal with as many as three bad rolls in a row, because there's a relatively good chance of that happening. If they feel the least bit frustrated by such a string of rolls, then I ask what needs to change for them not to feel that way.

Suspicion and dislike of the dice roller (and any computerized dice roller) is not uncommon, but there's really no evidence that it's faulty.
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