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What happened to the movie trailer, and why am I watching a Geico commercial?
Oh, he's having some sort of seizure? I'm not sure why he did a little foot stomp there. By the way, we're already 1/4 of the way through the trailer and pretty much nothing has happened.
Ooh, they've having a color drive, the happiest 5k on the planet!
Hmm, Mad Max's car is destroyed, he tries to crawl away but is captured and is forced to stumble behind a vehicle. I call shenanigans. No way are these crazy guys that have apparently been hunting him going to drive slowly enough for Max to stumble behind them instead of getting dragged.
Luckily there's a woman with no hair. She's probably the 2nd protagonist other than Max. I'm going to call her Sheena, because Sheena Is A Punk Rocker Now (bonus points if you get the reference).
Someone gets shaved. Someone gets a massive tattoo. Maybe it's Max maybe it's Sheena.
quote:No lumps No [something]
Two good eyes No [something]
Pies OK Genitals intact
Multiple Scars Heals Fast
O- NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
[something] Road Warrior [something]
the powder [something]
psychmotive???
muzzled
Some guy is chained, has a stick in his mouth, shirtless hairless people are working him over. Maybe he's the person with the tattoo. He's apparently Max, although since the people working him over obviously have the technology and ability to shave things, if they're going to cut his hair off I don't know why they wouldn't go whole hog and just shave him bald instead of trimming his formerly lanky hair into a nice short haircut.
Name recognition.
Pointless scene meant to inspire us with the amazing visual effects and immense natural beauty/awesomeness of where this is getting filmed. Yes, yes, get on with it.
Max? is chained in front of a car being driven by the Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Lots of people fighting, lots dying, the Pale Man has many relatives.
Porcupine car is destroyed.
Naked (well, almost) womens!
Sheena gets to say something -- the first person other than Max to say something. "Go!"
Lots of bald people. Seriously, I don't know why they wouldn't just shave Max's head instead of giving him a nice military-like short on the sides and long on top haircut.
2015
The porcupine car gets destroyed again.
Giant clouds with lightning! Maybe there's mutants now who control the weather, otherwise several scenes just make no sense. Storm should be right at home in this world.
More of the porcupine car!
And someone has a gun!
And there's a car doing a stunt!
And more naked (almost) women!
And Pale Men relatives!
And the porcupine car gets destroyed again, but from yet another angle!
Max and Sheena smile at each other. He gives her (presumably) a thumbs up. Great, I was worried she wouldn't cut it, but now she has validation from the male lead.
Some dude wearing a hat that blows in the wind on the sides and which looks suspiciously like a turbine stands up and holds guns out to the side. Apparently Middle Eastern-themed bad guys are still going strong in future movies.
Some dark-skinned woman has a metal arm!
And someone's shifter has a screaming metal skull on it!
And someone is driving a manual transmission car (it has a clutch pedal)!
And he pushes the gas pedal down all the way!
The weird whippy antennas are apparently there so Pale Men relatives can be chained up then lowered down to snatch people out of another car... and they grab a woman!
Sheena is totally broken hearted about something. It's ok, Sheena, you're the female lead, so Hollywood says it's part of your job to express all the angsty emotion that would lessen the male protagonist's manliness if he were to express it.
And someone in a funky gas mask throws something down!
And more vehicles are destroyed in massive bombs and fire!
And some half-naked woman falls to her apparent death!
And some other woman look sad!
And some guy has a pistol that he shoots! While driving!
And somebody gets shot!
And the porcupine car gets destroyed again from yet another angle.
Seriously, is the porcupine car the only vehicle we actually see get destroyed and not just driven into a massive fireball which we presume would destroy any vehicle in the flames? Oh, except Max's car before he gets dragged away back in the early part of the trailer.
And someone does a motorcycle stunt!
And someone has a rifle!
And the multiple half-dressed women in a car can apparently only look on helplessly while the men fight outside. Sheena sits in front of them but only half looks as if to say, "I'm here, but I'm not one of these helpless broads who are only here to pander to the audience and serve as the McGuffin of the movie."
That motorcycle gets driven over.
Now Sheena's forehead is covered in woad (nod to that other Mel Gibson movie?) and she's driving a truck and looking back. Cut to the motorcycle under the truck. Chalk up one confirmed kill for Sheena. Probably?
Someone asks the guy with short hair what his name is. Mad Max flashes up on the screen. Apparently he's going to stick with the short hair. He's wearing one of those bandanna things around his neck that have become the real in-thing to wear if you've been in the military over in Iraq or Afghanistan.
This movie will be called Fury Road and once again it's going to be released in 2015.