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13:14, 29th March 2024 (GMT+0)

Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

Posted by OceanLake
OceanLake
member, 821 posts
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 17:53
  • msg #1

Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

I believe this is an OK topic for this forum. In the Vents with Allowed Responses thread. AA came up. I've heard good things about it, but have no first- or second-hand knowledge. If you have, is it a good idea to suggest AA to somebody who is is worried about her/his drinking? While I'm asking about it, how about other self-help non-commercial groups? I don't think it would be appropriate to mention entities where one has to pay fees, dues, etc.
Baron
member, 113 posts
California, USA
RPing since the 70's
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 17:58
  • msg #2

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

AA is a "faith-based," put yourself in a higher-power's hands solution. The rationale is that you yourself can't control the undesirable behavior alone, and you will be an addict for the rest of your life. In other words, you are weak. You have the group support, the group policing, a mentor, and regular meetings for the rest of your life. You get tokens as you accrue time that you've been clean.

It really does work for some people, but it's got that cult feel to it. IMO.
Jarodemo
member, 638 posts
Vestibulum nescio latine.
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 17:59
  • msg #3

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

In reply to OceanLake (msg # 1):

I think that advice to any addict to seek professional support is a good idea, either through their doctor or through a reputable organisation like AA.
ShadoPrism
member, 580 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:03
  • msg #4

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

There are some addictions no amount of group therapy can help with.
Diabetics for example are addicted to sugar, it's part of the disease. (Though looking at it I am not sure disease is the right word for diabetes as it is a failure of the pancreas and liver that causes it.)
I was born with it, so it is something I live with every day.
Mad Mick
member, 747 posts
To fat cups of sweet tea
I'm giving much love
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:07
  • msg #5

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

I've heard good things about it, and a former roommate swore by it.
Genghis the Hutt
member, 2258 posts
Just an average guy :)
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:12
  • msg #6

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

If a person can just quit drinking on their own, then possibly they aren't addicted.  AA does have a faith component.

If you've tried to quit several times and haven't been able to, then you need more drastic steps.  You have to go in and actually admit, yes, you have a problem.  Yes, you need help.  You'll get a sponsor, a new close friend that you can chat with about your common problem, and who you can turn to when you feel that craving come back, because it will come back.  Everyone who's been addicted to something knows that feeling you get where you're about to turn back to whatever your addition is or was and you kind of want to stop it but at the same time you're almost willing to damn the consequences and full speed ahead.  That's when you call your sponsor and just hang on the phone with them, or they come to your house, or you go to theirs, or whatever.  You've tried quitting quietly on your own several times and it hasn't worked.  Get more help.

You earn recognition for being "clean" for specified periods of time.  If you fall off the wagon, everyone does that at times, just get back on and start recounting.  The counting is important because you feel a little victory that your personal increment is going up bit by bit.  You're basically going up in level!  A winner is you!  Also, that pride in your number can help keep you from going back.  "I have X time clean, if I go back, I'll lose that, I can't go back!"

You have regular meetings because, let's face it, you were spending too much time with your addition and you need something else to replace it.  Now you can listen to inspiring stories from other people and share the problems you're having in a setting where virtually everyone else has had the same problems and gone through the same situations and knows exactly where you're coming from and what you're going through.  Individually, you've tried and failed.  Now, together, as a whole, we're stronger than any one person could be.
Prowler.Jeff
member, 70 posts
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:44
  • msg #7

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

In reply to Genghis the Hutt (msg # 6):

That's the largest part of it, yes, but there is another aspect of it.

If you want to look at it negatively, yes, 'cult feel' could be used to describe it, but it is by no means accurate.

What you get instead is a feeling of belonging, a feeling of not being alone.

That is the biggest strength of AA, Gambler's Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and any of the other related groups.  They are there to help you realize that you're not alone in dealing with it.

Baron:
In other words, you are weak.


Pal, you couldn't be further from the truth.  The 'rationale' of these groups is that there is something that you can't handle on your own - and it has nothing to do with being weak.

These groups celebrate the strength of the person, not the weakness.  Asking for help is never EVER a weakness, and I will have words with anyone who even suggests otherwise.  It takes incredible inner strength to admit that you have a problem, a demon that you can't handle on your own.  I've been there - both as a participant and as an outsider watching someone else in that spiral.  Just knowing that there are others who have been there is sometimes enough (it was all I needed), and knowing that you can ask for and receive support and help, no questions asked, is truly indescribable.

And yes, everyone is different so this solution doesn't work for everyone but, on the same note, it is one of the most difficult paths anyone has to walk and they shouldn't have to walk it on their own.  As all these groups say, you take it one second at a time, one minute, one hour, one day.  Eventually that time adds up, eventually that time heals and overcomes.  But it takes time and effort - from the person involved as well as those on the outside who care for them.

I will warn you, suggesting AA or any of the other programs to someone is one of the most difficult things you can do.  Stay strong and be supportive of your friend, because it's a rocky, hard, terrible road - but a necessary one that only leads to positive places.
cero1
member, 1218 posts
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:49
  • msg #8

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 4):

Hell, I thought I naturally had a sweet tooth! <_< As a diabetic, my pancreas failed when I was very small due to a heavy illness at the time, my liver is fine, though I realise there are two types of diabetes, which can have different effects.

On-topic, it sounds like OP needs to either pull an intervention on someone or they're wondering what to do with thier own issue. I would always suggest seeing your GP as a first step if not placing an intervention on someone.

As an intervention being placed on someone... Well, thats a touchy subject. I'd rather not talk about stuff down that road, as it can push people over the edge if not done right.
Prowler.Jeff
member, 71 posts
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 18:55
  • msg #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

cero1:
...it can push people over the edge if not done right.


Indeed...a very, very tricky issue.  If you have even the least bit of hesitation or doubt over how to handle it, get help yourself.  Counselors, priests, psychologists, whoever - as long as they're a professional.  Their advice and possible assistance can't be stressed enough.
swordchucks
member, 791 posts
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 19:11
  • msg #10

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

You also have to remember that you can't force anyone to get clean.  They either get themselves clean (with or without help) or it will never stick.
Merevel
member, 538 posts
Gaming :-)
Very unlucky
Fri 25 Jul 2014
at 19:53
  • msg #11

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

Addiction to sugar? I would love to argue, but my ex wife was diabetic and she would not resist sweets.

As for AA: Help never hurts. Friends never hurt. having someone to talk to, who will likely give you unconditional support. Heck that sounds better then family.
Brianna
member, 1872 posts
Sat 26 Jul 2014
at 20:39
  • msg #12

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

I've also heard that Al-Anon can be very helpful, not just for families of addicts, but for friends.  Maybe the OP should check them out for help on how to approach this?
Jhael
moderator, 2350 posts
generation X-wing
Sun 27 Jul 2014
at 14:08

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.

I'd say that by the time you're admitting to someone else that you're a bit concerned about your drinking, you may be beyond the point of handling it yourself.

Someone I know is using AA at the moment as part of a long struggle with alcohol and prescription drug addiction.  He's an atheist and initially found AA's "faith" component a little hard to stomach, but the results have been extremely positive. He's not drinking, the valium's almost down to nothing, and he's gotten a job.

One solution is never going to work for everyone.  But there really is no harm in trying if your friend is serious about getting the problem under control.  If AA doesn't work out, then its not the end of the world.

But it's my earnest belief that trying SOMETHING is better than hesitating on the edge of it and never taking that step.
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