1. DnD - Get a deck of many things.
2. V:tM - Introduce yourself to the prince, with fire bomb. Bonus if you first announce your association to the party.
2. Any Contemporary game - Carry a Bandoleer or two (or three!) of grenades with you, take absolutely no skill in demolitions/acrobatics/throwing/anything that would help you use grenades. Wait till you are in an enclosed space and throw them like crazy.  (Was in a party some one had two Bandoleers... grabbed a grenade and tried to throw it... while we where in a sewer system.  He botched and drooped it, used a power for 2 extra actions and dropped it again... twice.... then other people used extra actions to get to him and dive for it... hitting each other... while some one tried to grab it from beside him and fumbled it around.... I had the common sense to burn extra actions to RUN)
3. Any - Set everything on fire..... E V E R Y T H I N G
4. WoD: any - As the Story Teller add THE Cow as an encounter, watch the party pull there hair out in frustration tiring to figure out THE Cow. Laugh your pants off when even after explaining THE Cow OOCly they still try and do everything possible to kill it and spend a good half hour or hour trying to figure it out before you end up sparing them the trouble and just make it get bored and leave.
5. WoD: any - Introduce the players to Anastagio's Olde Time Lunar Carnival and Midnight Circus.
6. DnD - As the GM, color spray trap EVERYTHING.
6a. Color spray trap your color spray traps.
6b. Put contingency spells on your traps: If color spray is cast, wait 3d4 turns, cast color spray.
6e. Make the boss a Living Twin Cast Intensified Color Spray:

quote:

Living Twin Cast Intensified Color Spray
Size/Type: Huge Ooze
Hit Dice: 9d10+90 (140 hp)
Initiative: –5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (–2 size, –1 Dex, +9 natural),, touch 16, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+18
Attack: Slam +8 melee (2d6+8 plus 2d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +8 melee (2d6+8, plus 2d6 acid, pluss spell effect)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, constrict 2d6+4 plus 2d6 acid, improved grab, engulf, Spell Effect (Su)
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., split, ooze traits, absorb magic , damage reduction +10/-, spell resistance +19
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +2, Will +2
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 9, Con 30, Int 8, Wis 9, Cha 9
Skills: Climb +12, use magic device +12, spellcraft +12

The typical huge ooze measures 15 feet across and 2 feet thick. It weighs about 18,000 pounds.

Spell Effect (Su): On a full attack, a creature hit by a living spell’s slam attack is subject to the normal effect of the spell or spells making up the creature. The maximum damage dice of the Living Spell is determined by class levels it has taken.

Acid (Ex): The creature secretes a digestive acid that dissolves organic material and metal quickly, but does not affect stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals acid damage, and the opponent’s armor and clothing dissolve and become useless immediately unless they succeed on DC 21 Reflex saves. A metal or wooden weapon that strikes a huge ooze also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 21 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

The huge ooze’s acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or metal objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage.

Constrict (Ex): A black pudding deals automatic slam and acid damage with a successful grapple check. The opponent’s clothing and armor take a –4 penalty on Reflex saves against the acid.

Engulf (Ex): A Living Spell can flow around creature that fit within its space as a standard action. It cannot make a slam attack during a round in which it engulfs. The living spell merely has to move over the opponents, affecting as many as it can cover. Opponents can make attacks of opportunity against the Living Spell. They are entitled to a saving throw. Those engulfed must succeed on a Reflex Save (DC 10 + spell level + the spell’s Cha modifier) or be engulfed; If they succeed, they are pushed back or aside (opponent’s choice) as the spell moves forward. Engulfed creatures are subject to the full normal effect of the spell(s) each round on the living spell’s turn, getting a save each turn, and are considered to be grappled and trapped within its body. Normal resistance applies.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a black pudding must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Split (Ex): Slashing and piercing weapons deal no damage to a black pudding. Instead the creature splits into two identical huge ooze, each with half of the original’s current hit points (round down). A huge ooze with 10 hit points or less cannot be further split and dies if reduced to 0 hit points.

Absorb Magic (Su): The Living Spell is able to absorb spells they are hit with by making an opposed Spellcraft check against the caster. If they succeed, they gain 5 hp per level of the spell casted at them, though spells of a higher level than the living magic require a save against the spell as would normally be done and only gain half the health they would normally. Spells of opposing elements deal x2 damage, this is increased by x1 for every 2 levels above the creature the casted spell is.

Skills: A huge ooze has a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.

7. DnD - As an artificer make nothing but weapons and wands that do nontraditional forms of damage resulting in long discussion between GM and players about what form of damage it actually dose.

Kenedic blast rod! (is it force, bludgeoning, or sonic!?!?!)

Wand of plasma shower! ( fire, force, electricity?? what is it!?!?!)

8. DnD - As a druid cast awaken on a tardigrade. Teach it to be a druid.

9. any system -  Follow RAW all the time, EXSACTLY regardless of what makes sense or it is a type-o.

10. any system - Let the party wonder into a chaotic realm or another reality with totally different rules, and don't tell them. Then make the consequences of there actions make no sense what so ever.

You bought something from the vender and paid full price? HOW DARE YOU!!!!! You insult the honor of him and his whole family for not haggling him relentlessly, no sell for you!

Evil dude kills a baby, hazah he is the town hero for killing there tyrannical ruler.

Good guy offer to help take care of a sick old man..... how dare he keep an old man from suffering... suffering keeps dark evils happy and they don't kill everyone.

11. any system -  Play the ultimate Illusionist!

Warrior: Hey so my friends heard you where a prity good illusionist, is that true?
Illusionist: AH, yes... but friendship is the ultimate illusion.
Warriors friends all vanish
Warrior: Hey.. what did you do bring them back right this instant, I don't have time for you little games.
Illusionist: Ah, but time is the ultimate illusion.
Everyone but the warrior and the illusionist freeze in place.
Warrior: Oh think your a smart hu?
Warrior pulls his weapon out.
Illusionist: Weapons are but simple illusions too my friend.
The warrior's weapon turns into a bunch of flowers.
Warrior: ............. YOU SON OF A gggrrr why you!!!!
Warrior pumbles the life out of the illusionist
Illusionist: You may think you have won... but death, is the ULTIMATE illusion!!!!

12. DnD - Take a party that's heavy on bonuses to rolls and tasport them to the deadlands univurse and switch to using it's rule's ..... which center around playing cards instead of dice rolls. Smile as there equipment suddenly is worthless.

13 any game - When your GM promises a crazy game, take him literaly.... make your chars completely totaly insane.... go rob some banks, kill random people for no reason, fill a snow blower with lye and run around with water guns.

u.u yes that last one happened to me.... x.x

Though I have to admit using a snow blower full of lye and a bunch of super soakers was pure brilliance. But they really didn't have to set off the fire alarm when they left, that's just overkill.

14. any game - As a GM randomly pass notes to people... many of which just say "Don't let anyone see this, but ignore it otherwise." or "Don't let anyone see this, but (smirk, act suprized, laugh... ect)". Do this every game at least once or twice, at the same time using notes to deliver secretive information to chars.

15 any game - STDs >.> enough said.

15a - Succubus / Incubus.

16 any game - Actually make players accountable for all the collateral damage they cause when they fight in a city.

City guards surrounding group "Yes we can see they were dread necromancers, but we don't take kindly to vigilantes blowing up our bridges around here..."
This message was last edited by the user at 10:18, Sun 06 July 2014.

this is a lazy idea, that never ends well. whoops, you got the void card, roll a new character. be a better GM and never use this item.


DND/pathfinder - use shrink item on 100 barrels of oil, turning them into strips of cloth. place strips into a jar with a bottle of alchemist fire in the middle. toss jar at GM's favorite creature and watch as you kill a CR20 with little to no effort.

takes like a week and several thousand gold, but the look on the face of unexperienced GM when you kill his biggest monster is great. it also works with acid, alchemist ice, and dust of dryness that has already absorbed water. (boom instant ocean)

DND/pathfinder, players. - 1. use shrink item on a ballista bolt, place bolt in regular crossbow.

2. shove a immovable rod into a large creatures mouth and hit the button. laugh as it kills itself trying to remove it.

3. attach an immovable rod to your adamantine tower shield, block everything.

4. curse metal armor with a heat metal spell.

5. use mass dominate person to start a harem.

6. use polymorph any object and turn people/monsters into gold, profit.

7. pray to the lady pain in sharn, or dominate some one else to do it.

8. baleful polymorph someone, then cast awaken on them. have a hour long discussion with your GM about what happens.


DND/pathfinder, GMs - use any form of gender change trap or cursed item.

1. place your players under the employ of a half dragon troll with an alter self on him, convince them to get him a ring of acid resistance 40. watch as the now immortal troll takes over the world.

2. use alter self on any manner of creature, watch as your munchkins try to look it up in the book.

3. have your players loot a shrine, toss foo creatures at them.

4. Slaad, nuff' said.

5. spring a mass polymorph trap on the group, watch a group of animals try to get themselves back to normal.

6. turn a deck of illusions into a deck of evil shadow conjuration that attacks the players.

7. walk the group through a field of silver bells, see how far they get.

8. use any were-creature, someone will fail a save.

9. cursed items of transformation that convince their owner that nothing is happening, lol, now your a dog.

10. intelligent items don't always want to help you, try not to piss-off your sword.

11. cursed boots that start fires are fun, no wait, the other thing, tedious.

12. anything that makes a rouge loose his hand.

13. make the rabbit from Monty Python, use a nasty beast with an illusion spell.

14. hold a door closed with an immovable rod.

15. give the players a ring of three wishes that looks like a ring of blasting, wait for the magic words "I wish".
This message was last edited by the user at 16:12, Sun 06 July 2014.

In reply to greedfox (msg # 2):

I've seen a Deck of Many things work wonders, but yes it can be a risk. The thing is, it isn't a bad GM to introduce the deck into the campaign, it's up to the player to make the gamble, the GM just supplied the slot machine for the player to put a quarter in.

What's THE Cow?

It's a cow that appears to be a normal cow, except it can tell when people are supernaturals and watches them intently, see's through all illusions, can't be killed, and has an intelligence of 7 (out of 5).

It usually just stands around in the field eating grass.

It's milk is abnormally tasty.......

That's.... about it.

But yah you can't kill it, it instantaneously and nonchalantly just disappears from the physical plane and into the umbra when you try and hurt it... and vice versa... and if you try and do something to get it from both sides it just appears on the other side a few feet away from danger.

However besides the instantaneous stepping sideways and watching supernatural even if there invisible or glamored or what not, it seams to just be a normal cow that dose nothing but normal cow stuff. Despite the fact it has like an IQ of like 400 it just thinks about normal cow stuff..... mmmm grass is tasty today.... lol

The cow must be like a zen master or something lol

It's a gorgon which is the only explanation for it.  (the wylds version of a fomori, leave it an embodiment of chaos to turn a normal cow into an immortal unkillable zen genius.)

42. WoD any game - Bale fire, lots and lots and lots of bale fire.

43. DnD - As a GM tell the players that spell casters arn't allowed... play a spelljammer game.

44. DnD - As a GM rule magical items only work for you if you make them yourself.

Thats actually pretty cool... ^^

There should be a nWoD version of THE Cow... Like a spirit possession orchestrated by one of the Lilithim Qashmal (The nWoD Embodiments of Chaos).

The thing is... Why would even want to kill this cow to begin with? How could you even tell it's broken your masquerade?

Seems more like an errornous result of an occult matrix the God-Machine tried and failed to make...

It's just one of those.... no one knows, just go with it... sillyness

According to the book the cow has existed sense nearly the dawn of time, and it has been worshiped as a god by many cultures. It is the sole reason some cultures worship cows in the WoD setting. lol

In reply to Sleepy (msg # 3):

I didn't say bad, I said lazy.

better idea would be to hand the characters a deck, say its a deck of many things, and have it be a deck of explosive runes. or you could make your own deck with better ideas than "gain a level" or "ridiculous monster appears".

you could even make it a deck of portals, have the cards transport the group to different planes/times. I could come up with a medley or better ideas.

the point being, that most of the artifacts in the books are old news, and your munchkins are going to look them up and use them against you, or die; player death (permanent death) is a failure to a GM, and like TPK, should be avoided.

Call of Cthulhu would like to have a word with you.

So you don't allow permanent death for PCs in your games?

In both cases, let them do it to themselves
45. as soon as the DM attempts to attack your thieving character, point to the character sheet and simply explain that you can't hurt make-up with a halberd, so your rouge is quite safe
46. after the party hitches up their respective apparel and attacks, explain that these are orks (from Alpine folklore), not orcs (from some novel by some other guy), and can therefore alter the character's perception of reality so they're gonna be squashed like bugs
47. after the party slaughters the group of kobolds that surprised them when they woke, inform the party they are being sued by the innkeeper for depriving him of his house spirits
48. after the party has snuck by the sentrys and gained entry to the caves from which the dragon are persecuting the country and stripping it of its wealth, explain that killing just one of the several hundred dragons will not solve the problem; it might be appropriate, at this time, to point out that dragon and dragoon are one and the same, so the party is now hip deep in the hostile camp of several hundred mounted light infantrymen
This message was last edited by the user at 04:56, Sun 13 July 2014.

Why would people what to kill the cow?  Because you said they can't do it.

No, they would kill the cow because cows are delicious.

To kill the cow you would have to destroy the inter universe.

Or outwit it's 7 intelligence and get it to willingly enter a pocket universe with an infinitely thick gauntlet and seal it up before it realized anything is amiss.

And then you would likely have some very angry wyld spirits because you just killed there 10,000 year old zen cow / practical joke / what ever the heck it is.

45. any game - As the GM always ask "are you sure you want to do that?" before everything they say there going to do.

No. Just no. This is the kind of spoon-feeding drek that convinces people we need to hand out 'participation' awards at little league tournaments. Sometimes, the dice gods hate you. Sometimes, you get stupid. Sometimes, things just don't go your way. The reason people remember the old video games more than the new ones is because if you died, for any reason, there was none of this 'spawn point' business or reversing it. If you were lucky, you went back to the start of the level. Otherwise, you started from the very beginning of the game. Same applies in RPGs. Nothing like a TPK to teach people not to be stupid.

46. D&D - When facing the Tarrasque, have someone capable of Plane Shift throw a Portable hole into a Bag of Holding while sitting on the Tarrasque's head.

47. Shadowrun - As a player, list a dragon as a contact.

This is true. I can't imagine coddling any of my players, or understand why anyone would want to. Games with no risk are a joke. Participation awards really only work until the little fart understands what participation means. Then that becomes a joke. I had a relative get an award for second place in a race in which there were only 2 racers. I guess it was OK because he didn't really understand it, but even then I was at an age where it was comical to me. So um... there is some sense of accomplishment when my players achieve it. Usually because of my lack of coddling. I get a lot of respect in that regard.


Oh did they change the perma-death requirements?

On the other hand, I've had a player quit because his character died.

Subject says ways to mess with DM/Party....

What exactly happens when you suck a Tarrasque's head into another reality from the rest of it's body.... is something that will lead to a lot of arguing likely

That'd be ok by me. I'm not the kind of GM that takes something like that personally, and I want to be playing with (somewhat) like minded players.

I agree and disagree with this.  In a DnD setting... or any setting where you can easily resurrect a player or have clones or the like and permadeath is not an easy thing to happen.... then if they let it happen it was probably there fault.

In other settings where people die and stay dead, there usually more about the story. Who likes a story that when your favorite char was about to reach the height of there potential they just out of the blue die for some stupid reason like they tripped and fell on a sword?

As a story driven game you should avoid pointless player death and in general player death outside of major plot points.

The glaring exception is when players do something dumb, one of those.... are you sure you really want to do that?.... really?...... u.u  ok....  Situations, everyone knows what I am talking about. They happen all the time.  Worst I've seen happened twice to the same guy. First he threw a pipe bomb at another pipe bomb while in a pressurized environment.... He was lucky he wasn't near a hull and it was a large environment.  Later he was falling into a 300 yard think wall of violent winds caring shards of ice as hard as steel.  He would have slowly passed through over the course of 3 rounds and tried to avoid the larger chunks the best he could and endure the tiny ones. He desired to incress his gravity greatly with the logic that the more you weight the more stable footed you are.... I tried to warn him the best I could with out right saying you can't be stable footed in mid air... but he wanted to go through with it.... so he shot his weight way up and almost instantly accelerated to critical velocity and passed through in less than one round taking all the damage at once.  He took fatal damage and was in critical condition and free fall having had his right arm and part of his right shoulder cut off by a large chunk of ice.

I was like sorry man... if something don't happen in the next 2 rounds you hit the ground and splatter.  But there was a very very very kind hearted healing monk with mad magic kon-fu that jumped up, did mad anime crazy ninja stuff, grabbed him and stabilized him on the ground.

First time he was lucky, second time the healer saved him.


so yah they mess up and kill themselves then it's there fult but otherwise should try and avoid accidental death in a story driven game.