1. DnD - Get a deck of many things.
2. V:tM - Introduce yourself to the prince, with fire bomb. Bonus if you first announce your association to the party.
2. Any Contemporary game - Carry a Bandoleer or two (or three!) of grenades with you, take absolutely no skill in demolitions/acrobatics/throwing/anything that would help you use grenades. Wait till you are in an enclosed space and throw them like crazy.  (Was in a party some one had two Bandoleers... grabbed a grenade and tried to throw it... while we where in a sewer system.  He botched and drooped it, used a power for 2 extra actions and dropped it again... twice.... then other people used extra actions to get to him and dive for it... hitting each other... while some one tried to grab it from beside him and fumbled it around.... I had the common sense to burn extra actions to RUN)
3. Any - Set everything on fire..... E V E R Y T H I N G
4. WoD: any - As the Story Teller add THE Cow as an encounter, watch the party pull there hair out in frustration tiring to figure out THE Cow. Laugh your pants off when even after explaining THE Cow OOCly they still try and do everything possible to kill it and spend a good half hour or hour trying to figure it out before you end up sparing them the trouble and just make it get bored and leave.
5. WoD: any - Introduce the players to Anastagio's Olde Time Lunar Carnival and Midnight Circus.
6. DnD - As the GM, color spray trap EVERYTHING.
6a. Color spray trap your color spray traps.
6b. Put contingency spells on your traps: If color spray is cast, wait 3d4 turns, cast color spray.
6e. Make the boss a Living Twin Cast Intensified Color Spray:

quote:

Living Twin Cast Intensified Color Spray
Size/Type: Huge Ooze
Hit Dice: 9d10+90 (140 hp)
Initiative: –5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (–2 size, –1 Dex, +9 natural),, touch 16, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+18
Attack: Slam +8 melee (2d6+8 plus 2d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +8 melee (2d6+8, plus 2d6 acid, pluss spell effect)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, constrict 2d6+4 plus 2d6 acid, improved grab, engulf, Spell Effect (Su)
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., split, ooze traits, absorb magic , damage reduction +10/-, spell resistance +19
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +2, Will +2
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 9, Con 30, Int 8, Wis 9, Cha 9
Skills: Climb +12, use magic device +12, spellcraft +12

The typical huge ooze measures 15 feet across and 2 feet thick. It weighs about 18,000 pounds.

Spell Effect (Su): On a full attack, a creature hit by a living spell’s slam attack is subject to the normal effect of the spell or spells making up the creature. The maximum damage dice of the Living Spell is determined by class levels it has taken.

Acid (Ex): The creature secretes a digestive acid that dissolves organic material and metal quickly, but does not affect stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals acid damage, and the opponent’s armor and clothing dissolve and become useless immediately unless they succeed on DC 21 Reflex saves. A metal or wooden weapon that strikes a huge ooze also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 21 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

The huge ooze’s acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or metal objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage.

Constrict (Ex): A black pudding deals automatic slam and acid damage with a successful grapple check. The opponent’s clothing and armor take a –4 penalty on Reflex saves against the acid.

Engulf (Ex): A Living Spell can flow around creature that fit within its space as a standard action. It cannot make a slam attack during a round in which it engulfs. The living spell merely has to move over the opponents, affecting as many as it can cover. Opponents can make attacks of opportunity against the Living Spell. They are entitled to a saving throw. Those engulfed must succeed on a Reflex Save (DC 10 + spell level + the spell’s Cha modifier) or be engulfed; If they succeed, they are pushed back or aside (opponent’s choice) as the spell moves forward. Engulfed creatures are subject to the full normal effect of the spell(s) each round on the living spell’s turn, getting a save each turn, and are considered to be grappled and trapped within its body. Normal resistance applies.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a black pudding must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Split (Ex): Slashing and piercing weapons deal no damage to a black pudding. Instead the creature splits into two identical huge ooze, each with half of the original’s current hit points (round down). A huge ooze with 10 hit points or less cannot be further split and dies if reduced to 0 hit points.

Absorb Magic (Su): The Living Spell is able to absorb spells they are hit with by making an opposed Spellcraft check against the caster. If they succeed, they gain 5 hp per level of the spell casted at them, though spells of a higher level than the living magic require a save against the spell as would normally be done and only gain half the health they would normally. Spells of opposing elements deal x2 damage, this is increased by x1 for every 2 levels above the creature the casted spell is.

Skills: A huge ooze has a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.

7. DnD - As an artificer make nothing but weapons and wands that do nontraditional forms of damage resulting in long discussion between GM and players about what form of damage it actually dose.

Kenedic blast rod! (is it force, bludgeoning, or sonic!?!?!)

Wand of plasma shower! ( fire, force, electricity?? what is it!?!?!)

8. DnD - As a druid cast awaken on a tardigrade. Teach it to be a druid.

9. any system -  Follow RAW all the time, EXSACTLY regardless of what makes sense or it is a type-o.

10. any system - Let the party wonder into a chaotic realm or another reality with totally different rules, and don't tell them. Then make the consequences of there actions make no sense what so ever.

You bought something from the vender and paid full price? HOW DARE YOU!!!!! You insult the honor of him and his whole family for not haggling him relentlessly, no sell for you!

Evil dude kills a baby, hazah he is the town hero for killing there tyrannical ruler.

Good guy offer to help take care of a sick old man..... how dare he keep an old man from suffering... suffering keeps dark evils happy and they don't kill everyone.

11. any system -  Play the ultimate Illusionist!

Warrior: Hey so my friends heard you where a prity good illusionist, is that true?
Illusionist: AH, yes... but friendship is the ultimate illusion.
Warriors friends all vanish
Warrior: Hey.. what did you do bring them back right this instant, I don't have time for you little games.
Illusionist: Ah, but time is the ultimate illusion.
Everyone but the warrior and the illusionist freeze in place.
Warrior: Oh think your a smart hu?
Warrior pulls his weapon out.
Illusionist: Weapons are but simple illusions too my friend.
The warrior's weapon turns into a bunch of flowers.
Warrior: ............. YOU SON OF A gggrrr why you!!!!
Warrior pumbles the life out of the illusionist
Illusionist: You may think you have won... but death, is the ULTIMATE illusion!!!!

12. DnD - Take a party that's heavy on bonuses to rolls and tasport them to the deadlands univurse and switch to using it's rule's ..... which center around playing cards instead of dice rolls. Smile as there equipment suddenly is worthless.

13 any game - When your GM promises a crazy game, take him literaly.... make your chars completely totaly insane.... go rob some banks, kill random people for no reason, fill a snow blower with lye and run around with water guns.

u.u yes that last one happened to me.... x.x

Though I have to admit using a snow blower full of lye and a bunch of super soakers was pure brilliance. But they really didn't have to set off the fire alarm when they left, that's just overkill.

14. any game - As a GM randomly pass notes to people... many of which just say "Don't let anyone see this, but ignore it otherwise." or "Don't let anyone see this, but (smirk, act suprized, laugh... ect)". Do this every game at least once or twice, at the same time using notes to deliver secretive information to chars.

15 any game - STDs >.> enough said.

15a - Succubus / Incubus.

16 any game - Actually make players accountable for all the collateral damage they cause when they fight in a city.

City guards surrounding group "Yes we can see they were dread necromancers, but we don't take kindly to vigilantes blowing up our bridges around here..."
This message was last edited by the user at 10:18, Sun 06 July 2014.

this is a lazy idea, that never ends well. whoops, you got the void card, roll a new character. be a better GM and never use this item.


DND/pathfinder - use shrink item on 100 barrels of oil, turning them into strips of cloth. place strips into a jar with a bottle of alchemist fire in the middle. toss jar at GM's favorite creature and watch as you kill a CR20 with little to no effort.

takes like a week and several thousand gold, but the look on the face of unexperienced GM when you kill his biggest monster is great. it also works with acid, alchemist ice, and dust of dryness that has already absorbed water. (boom instant ocean)

DND/pathfinder, players. - 1. use shrink item on a ballista bolt, place bolt in regular crossbow.

2. shove a immovable rod into a large creatures mouth and hit the button. laugh as it kills itself trying to remove it.

3. attach an immovable rod to your adamantine tower shield, block everything.

4. curse metal armor with a heat metal spell.

5. use mass dominate person to start a harem.

6. use polymorph any object and turn people/monsters into gold, profit.

7. pray to the lady pain in sharn, or dominate some one else to do it.

8. baleful polymorph someone, then cast awaken on them. have a hour long discussion with your GM about what happens.


DND/pathfinder, GMs - use any form of gender change trap or cursed item.

1. place your players under the employ of a half dragon troll with an alter self on him, convince them to get him a ring of acid resistance 40. watch as the now immortal troll takes over the world.

2. use alter self on any manner of creature, watch as your munchkins try to look it up in the book.

3. have your players loot a shrine, toss foo creatures at them.

4. Slaad, nuff' said.

5. spring a mass polymorph trap on the group, watch a group of animals try to get themselves back to normal.

6. turn a deck of illusions into a deck of evil shadow conjuration that attacks the players.

7. walk the group through a field of silver bells, see how far they get.

8. use any were-creature, someone will fail a save.

9. cursed items of transformation that convince their owner that nothing is happening, lol, now your a dog.

10. intelligent items don't always want to help you, try not to piss-off your sword.

11. cursed boots that start fires are fun, no wait, the other thing, tedious.

12. anything that makes a rouge loose his hand.

13. make the rabbit from Monty Python, use a nasty beast with an illusion spell.

14. hold a door closed with an immovable rod.

15. give the players a ring of three wishes that looks like a ring of blasting, wait for the magic words "I wish".
This message was last edited by the user at 16:12, Sun 06 July 2014.

In reply to greedfox (msg # 2):

I've seen a Deck of Many things work wonders, but yes it can be a risk. The thing is, it isn't a bad GM to introduce the deck into the campaign, it's up to the player to make the gamble, the GM just supplied the slot machine for the player to put a quarter in.

What's THE Cow?

It's a cow that appears to be a normal cow, except it can tell when people are supernaturals and watches them intently, see's through all illusions, can't be killed, and has an intelligence of 7 (out of 5).

It usually just stands around in the field eating grass.

It's milk is abnormally tasty.......

That's.... about it.

But yah you can't kill it, it instantaneously and nonchalantly just disappears from the physical plane and into the umbra when you try and hurt it... and vice versa... and if you try and do something to get it from both sides it just appears on the other side a few feet away from danger.

However besides the instantaneous stepping sideways and watching supernatural even if there invisible or glamored or what not, it seams to just be a normal cow that dose nothing but normal cow stuff. Despite the fact it has like an IQ of like 400 it just thinks about normal cow stuff..... mmmm grass is tasty today.... lol

The cow must be like a zen master or something lol

It's a gorgon which is the only explanation for it.  (the wylds version of a fomori, leave it an embodiment of chaos to turn a normal cow into an immortal unkillable zen genius.)

42. WoD any game - Bale fire, lots and lots and lots of bale fire.

43. DnD - As a GM tell the players that spell casters arn't allowed... play a spelljammer game.

44. DnD - As a GM rule magical items only work for you if you make them yourself.

Thats actually pretty cool... ^^

There should be a nWoD version of THE Cow... Like a spirit possession orchestrated by one of the Lilithim Qashmal (The nWoD Embodiments of Chaos).

The thing is... Why would even want to kill this cow to begin with? How could you even tell it's broken your masquerade?

Seems more like an errornous result of an occult matrix the God-Machine tried and failed to make...

It's just one of those.... no one knows, just go with it... sillyness

According to the book the cow has existed sense nearly the dawn of time, and it has been worshiped as a god by many cultures. It is the sole reason some cultures worship cows in the WoD setting. lol

In reply to Sleepy (msg # 3):

I didn't say bad, I said lazy.

better idea would be to hand the characters a deck, say its a deck of many things, and have it be a deck of explosive runes. or you could make your own deck with better ideas than "gain a level" or "ridiculous monster appears".

you could even make it a deck of portals, have the cards transport the group to different planes/times. I could come up with a medley or better ideas.

the point being, that most of the artifacts in the books are old news, and your munchkins are going to look them up and use them against you, or die; player death (permanent death) is a failure to a GM, and like TPK, should be avoided.

Call of Cthulhu would like to have a word with you.

So you don't allow permanent death for PCs in your games?

In both cases, let them do it to themselves
45. as soon as the DM attempts to attack your thieving character, point to the character sheet and simply explain that you can't hurt make-up with a halberd, so your rouge is quite safe
46. after the party hitches up their respective apparel and attacks, explain that these are orks (from Alpine folklore), not orcs (from some novel by some other guy), and can therefore alter the character's perception of reality so they're gonna be squashed like bugs
47. after the party slaughters the group of kobolds that surprised them when they woke, inform the party they are being sued by the innkeeper for depriving him of his house spirits
48. after the party has snuck by the sentrys and gained entry to the caves from which the dragon are persecuting the country and stripping it of its wealth, explain that killing just one of the several hundred dragons will not solve the problem; it might be appropriate, at this time, to point out that dragon and dragoon are one and the same, so the party is now hip deep in the hostile camp of several hundred mounted light infantrymen
This message was last edited by the user at 04:56, Sun 13 July 2014.

Why would people what to kill the cow?  Because you said they can't do it.

No, they would kill the cow because cows are delicious.

To kill the cow you would have to destroy the inter universe.

Or outwit it's 7 intelligence and get it to willingly enter a pocket universe with an infinitely thick gauntlet and seal it up before it realized anything is amiss.

And then you would likely have some very angry wyld spirits because you just killed there 10,000 year old zen cow / practical joke / what ever the heck it is.

45. any game - As the GM always ask "are you sure you want to do that?" before everything they say there going to do.

No. Just no. This is the kind of spoon-feeding drek that convinces people we need to hand out 'participation' awards at little league tournaments. Sometimes, the dice gods hate you. Sometimes, you get stupid. Sometimes, things just don't go your way. The reason people remember the old video games more than the new ones is because if you died, for any reason, there was none of this 'spawn point' business or reversing it. If you were lucky, you went back to the start of the level. Otherwise, you started from the very beginning of the game. Same applies in RPGs. Nothing like a TPK to teach people not to be stupid.

46. D&D - When facing the Tarrasque, have someone capable of Plane Shift throw a Portable hole into a Bag of Holding while sitting on the Tarrasque's head.

47. Shadowrun - As a player, list a dragon as a contact.

This is true. I can't imagine coddling any of my players, or understand why anyone would want to. Games with no risk are a joke. Participation awards really only work until the little fart understands what participation means. Then that becomes a joke. I had a relative get an award for second place in a race in which there were only 2 racers. I guess it was OK because he didn't really understand it, but even then I was at an age where it was comical to me. So um... there is some sense of accomplishment when my players achieve it. Usually because of my lack of coddling. I get a lot of respect in that regard.


Oh did they change the perma-death requirements?

On the other hand, I've had a player quit because his character died.

Subject says ways to mess with DM/Party....

What exactly happens when you suck a Tarrasque's head into another reality from the rest of it's body.... is something that will lead to a lot of arguing likely

That'd be ok by me. I'm not the kind of GM that takes something like that personally, and I want to be playing with (somewhat) like minded players.

I agree and disagree with this.  In a DnD setting... or any setting where you can easily resurrect a player or have clones or the like and permadeath is not an easy thing to happen.... then if they let it happen it was probably there fault.

In other settings where people die and stay dead, there usually more about the story. Who likes a story that when your favorite char was about to reach the height of there potential they just out of the blue die for some stupid reason like they tripped and fell on a sword?

As a story driven game you should avoid pointless player death and in general player death outside of major plot points.

The glaring exception is when players do something dumb, one of those.... are you sure you really want to do that?.... really?...... u.u  ok....  Situations, everyone knows what I am talking about. They happen all the time.  Worst I've seen happened twice to the same guy. First he threw a pipe bomb at another pipe bomb while in a pressurized environment.... He was lucky he wasn't near a hull and it was a large environment.  Later he was falling into a 300 yard think wall of violent winds caring shards of ice as hard as steel.  He would have slowly passed through over the course of 3 rounds and tried to avoid the larger chunks the best he could and endure the tiny ones. He desired to incress his gravity greatly with the logic that the more you weight the more stable footed you are.... I tried to warn him the best I could with out right saying you can't be stable footed in mid air... but he wanted to go through with it.... so he shot his weight way up and almost instantly accelerated to critical velocity and passed through in less than one round taking all the damage at once.  He took fatal damage and was in critical condition and free fall having had his right arm and part of his right shoulder cut off by a large chunk of ice.

I was like sorry man... if something don't happen in the next 2 rounds you hit the ground and splatter.  But there was a very very very kind hearted healing monk with mad magic kon-fu that jumped up, did mad anime crazy ninja stuff, grabbed him and stabilized him on the ground.

First time he was lucky, second time the healer saved him.


so yah they mess up and kill themselves then it's there fult but otherwise should try and avoid accidental death in a story driven game.

48. WoD - Take dept 5, and wait untill the last day to tell them that you owe some one 5 million dollars and if you don't pay them three hundred thousand dollars by tomorrow or they will take it out on the whole party because you told them that they had the money.

49. WoD - Use all your background, freebies, and flaw points on: Merit - Corporate C.E.O , Resources 5, Influence: police (local) 5, Influence: government (state) 5, Influence: Financial (Goldman Sachs) 5, Influence: Underworld (organized crime) 2, Influence: Religion 1, Influence: Occult 1, Influence: Infrastructure 1. Influence: Bureaucracy 1.  Use your vast influence (made more potent by bribes from your vast Resources) to take care of anything the ST puts froth from the comfort of your $10,000 leather recliner.
This message was last edited by the user at 07:27, Mon 07 July 2014.

That's not even close to true though, a GURPS Game without magic at a low TL, no resurrection there, Only War, Dark Heresy, Black Crusade, The Mutant Epoch, Call of Cthulhu. All of them players stay dead, yet death is not a surprising result, especially with the mutant epoch where it's suggested each player have two characters in case one dies, and sometimes both die.


49. DnD - Create a peasant railgun

If someone's character dies and they take their toys and leave, then you probably dodged a bullet, since such people tend to have more problems than they're worth.

In reply to Azraile (msg # 22):

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. That kind of attitude is like bowling with the bumpers in, so you can't roll a gutterball (unless you REALLY mess up!). There are settings where you might work a little harder to not kill people off (most superhero settings, for instance), but those settings just prove the point for the rest of them that death (and permanent death, if they can't find a way to ressurrect the character) is something to be feared. The threat of death is what makes a D&D group decide to fall back when they are overmatched, instead of fighting it out until the end. The threat of death is what makes a Shadowrun group ultraparanoid. The threat of death is what makes the X-men... ok, who are we kidding here, even when Jean Grey dies, she doesn't stay dead.

If you didn't check for traps at the mouth of the spooky cave, and trigger a 'rocks fall, people in the area are dead' trap, then you deserve what happens. Same when you find a lich's phylactery, only to discover he put Symbol of Death on it. Paranoia is a survival skill. And while it is true that the epic deaths (Thrognar leaping into the portal to the abyss with the artifact to seal it on the other side) are more worthy of song, it is the little deaths, the almost pointless deaths, that teach us what we need to get to the epic ones, and appreciate them. It is why I feel that everyone, as a player and a GM, should experience a TPK at least once. From those defeats, you learn what to do and what not to do. Same as when you learn to ride a bike. You're going to fall. It will hurt. But the pain teaches you what to do.

Take away the prospect of death anywhere but at plot points, and you might as well just turn on God mode.


50. Any Superhero - Have a power which necessitates lots of extra paperwork (Bring people into a digital dimension, where their powers are determined by their Computer skill checks).

You don't have to take away the potential for death compleatly, or it's threat. I am just saying you shouldn't kill some one over a dumb dice roll when nothing is even going on that important.

Again I said DnD and other mass resurrecting games are the acception....

I am guessing your spoiled by DnD here, but most death is permadeath in tabletop games outside of DnD.

D&D doesn't spoil players. DMs spoil players. Not every adventurer knows someone capable of casting a Resurrection spell or true Resurrection spell. Even if they do there is the matter of cost and acquiring ingredients. Outside of the DM allowing you to be put in a situation where you have all three of those requirements, death is permanent in D&D.

In reply to Wayofthewicked (msg # 27):

Have to agree with this.  Been playing D&D since the white box days, and have never yet been in a game where the PCs had access to resurrection spells.  Dead was always dead-dead for us.

So, no, not spoiled by D&D at all, in that respect.

In my last fantasy GURPS game, there were a grand total of 9 people that could resurrect. It was using the GURPS Powers version of resurrect.

I am saying there is a difference between giving players a challenge with life and death consequences and out right trying to kill the players at every chance you get.

The later shows a level of 'I got to win' immaturity when the GMs job is to make sure everyone has fun. Regardless of what some people think, and I know some people who do think the GMs job is to kill everyone.... these people quickly find no one wanting to play there games though, big shocker there.

If you want to argue about it though you should make a discussion thread though so your not dragging a thread off topic and arguing.

+ this.

----

any game - constantly take "left turns" against the gm's plot, do the opposite of what they expect and see how it makes them think on their feet.

pathfinder - use 30 dust of dryness, give the bag of marble sized objects to some kids to play with.

players/gm - sovereigns glue everything / use a trap that sprays glue on the players.

gm - introduce a chaos beast, or five.

gm - flail snail!

gm - run psionics and regular magic in the same group, have your head explode keeping up with the players.

psionics - mind trap a player, inflict a second personality on them.

gm - spring board traps, toss players into walls, off cliffs, and into spikes.

60. Any system - Have your villains adhere to the Evil Overlord List. http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
61. Shadowrun - Have the group decide between dealing with a dragon and letting Humanis unleash chemical weapons on metahuman neighborhoods.
62. D&D - Apply undead templates to everything. The look on players' faces when they are attacked by a swarm of undead pixies is HILLARIOUS!

63.  Start a TOON: the Cartoon Role-playing Game campaign, but play it ultra serious as if you were in a long term Amber Diceless Role-playing game.

64. Start an Amber: the Diceless Role-play Game campaign, but play it wacky as if you were in a one off TOON: the Cartoon Role-playing Game.

ok I LOVE this one!!  lol

other good uses for a bag full of dust of dryness marbles.... throw them in a gaint monsters mouth when it roars at you

64. D&D Ravenloft - Make an eternal decanter of holy water that is stuck on max setting.

65A. DnD: (Mess with DM version) Make a paladin. Use wisdom as a dump stat and never put any points in perception, sense motive, or spellcraft. Also, never use detect evil on the rest of the party because you trust them. Ideally, this character would be a catfolk, or some other race that gets a penalty to wisdom and a bonus to charisma. Sure, he can't knowingly stand by while they do evil things, but he has no clue that anything is going on.

65B. DnD: (Mess with party version) Make a paladin.

66. (DM mess with the party) No alignment restrictions for party composition.

How is that messing with the party? I've been in plenty of games where there weren't any alignment restrictions, and there weren't problems. And I've been in games where everyone was good and the party fell apart to infighting or someone either being stupid or a donkey.

Presumably this also includes restrictions on who paladins can hang with.

67. WoD any - Take the background Equipment: balefire flamethrower, insist that you always stand near and sleep near everyone else, NEVER take it of and don't let them take it of you if they try.

Bonus points if balefire damage is unsoakable by you party, or your party is heavily anti-wyrm

( fore those that don't know WoD you usaly have around 7 health before you KOed and dying you can prevent damage by soaking it most things cant soak balefire and those that do usaly have a harder time than any other kind of damage if the tank on the flame thrower takes almost any damage it blows up and every one in like 10 yards takes 3 unsoakable damage and then 3 balefire damage a round till they put themselves out and in 30 yards I think it's 2 auto 1a turn, it's like evil supernatural napalm, it is not easy to put out )


Edit- they also had the reputation of just blowing up randomly to, it is like having a mini unstable nuclear reactor fueled by the flaming blood  of satan, and wearing it on you back o.o
This message was last edited by the user at 04:44, Sat 12 July 2014.

In reply to Azraile (msg # 40):

On the other hand, a balefire flamethrower in a changeling game would be amazing.

Play an obviously vicious Chaotic Evil murder hobo who kills and destroys indiscriminately.  When confronted by the DM insist that you are Lawful Good.  When the DM laughs continue to insist.  When he asks how that is possible try the following rationalization:

According to the rules of his homeland your character is obligated to tear down any civilization that has advanced farther than his own.  That all advances throughout the world must remain constant.  Only through strict application of "law" can the world reach Nirvana.

In addition, explain that in his homeland there is a terrible strain of plague that infects anyone who does not have Yellow Irises.  In order to protect the world from the spread of the plague all non-Yellow Iris peoples must be killed before they suffer the most horrible fate known to exist.  Putting victims down is a mercy and considered a "good" act among your Character's people.

Thus Lawful Good, not Chaotic Evil.

In reply to Shiv (msg # 42):

My response: Aww, that's cute, he thinks he gets to decide major plot points and that alignments don't work like they're supposed to...

In other news, I'm a firm believer that Paladins should be Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil because the concept of killing a sentient being on the basis that 'it's a monster' isn't good. You wait until after you've given it a chance to disprove its evil. I don't know, maybe all that is its own way of messing with the GM.

Play an emo Drow Ranger that duel-wields scimitars and insist that you aren't playing a clone of Drizzt.  Even if no one accuses you vehemently insist that you aren't anyway.

I am in a game where I am a paladin and there is an assassin as well. The roleplay is great because the PCs really don't like each other.

Also, it depends on how you define Lawful Good. It doesn't mean you have to be nice! The Spanish Inquisition were on the side of Good and Law, doesn't mean they were nice people. My paladin is a member of a sect trying to destroy evil and kill all heretics, which makes him kind of an ass! He is arrogant and rude to those he perceives to be of a lower class, tries to order everyone about and has no concept of sneaking about. In battle he simply charges in, believing that his god will aid him through the fight.

Makes him fun to play as I get to be a jerk (as long as my fellow players don't mind :) ).

I would argue that there was nothing good about the Law that was allowing the inquisitors to perform evil actions and that the inquisitors were actually on the side of Law and either Evil or Neutrality.


I've always been annoyed with the concept that might makes right too. It doesn't. It makes people die. Or monsters or animals, but perhaps the argument could be made that those are a lesser order. Then you get into the sentient monsters and are they really monsters? Who said they're evil? and so on and so forth. I guess it's ok wading into battle if that's all there is, but if there doesn't have to be...


The difference between 'jerk' and 'evil' is how far you're willing to take it. Tell me, has your paladin killed any PCs that believe in a different god? Does he plan to? If so, I'd call him evil. If not, I'd call him a hypocrite. If there are no such PCs, I praise your GM.

Alignment might not mess with parties nearly as much as it has derailed this thread lol

In reply to steelsmiter (msg # 46):

Law is an easily definable quantity. Some is either legal or illegal, although policy makers can change this as they see fit. Good and evil are more personal, moral distinctions with grey boundaries.

Lawful and Good are very different things. Is a law that permits the state to execute a convicted felon 'good'? Some would argue a big no to that, but that doesn't make it unlawful.

Example - the Crusades. I'm sure that the Europeans who travelled to the Holy Land to fight did so because they believed they were doing good, and performing God's work against the evil Saracens. And I'm equally sure that the opposition forces felt equally strongly that they were doing good, fighting the evil invades from the west.

In that conflict the truth is that there was no 'good' or 'evil', just two opposing forces with different religious beliefs fighting each other. The good guys and bad guys is just a point of view.

It is easy to judge groups like the Inquisition with hindsight and call them evil. If they genuinely believed that they were doing the right thing in God's eyes... They might have been wrong, but that doesn't necessarily make them evil. Same goes for burning witches. Yes it was wrong (in hindsight) but to call those who did it evil is not necessarily true, though I concede that some of those who did it may have known it was wrong all the time and can genuinely be called evil.

-

Back to my Paladin character, he believes that he is Good. He is following his god's law and the doctrine of the sect he is a member of. Therefore he can legitimately be classed as Lawful Good. He has no plans to kills other PCs, who are all Good or Neutral except the assassin. He might try to turn the evil assassin away from his chosen life, but would only fight/kill him if the assassin tried to kill another party member (which I think is unlikely as the player is not a jerk).

In the setting there are a pantheon of gods, not monotheism, so believing in other gods isn't an issue. There is a difference between believing in and being a follower of. A roman priest of Jupiter would also believe in all of the other gods.

Regarding monsters, we are currently fighting evil giants so he is doing his god's work. He would only fight good/neutral opponents (e.g. Animals) to defend himself, for food or for sport (he is a Knight after all).

In reply to Andrew Wilson (msg # 47):

Lol! I considered throwing in Nazi Germany as an example but didn't want to risk a Godwin... :)

Right. I already made that point


Both sides were wrong. Although it does further establish my point that just because you think you're good doesn't mean you are. Same goes for your god's wishes. And I fail to see how a god that wants people on a crusade (like killing heretics) is good.


Fine, but they're not good either. They might be able to claim neutrality at best.


Aah no, Lawful yes, Good no. Especially not if heretics have to die for the simple act of worshipping another god.


The fact that he would attempt to change the assassin's lifestyle is a Good thing to do, but if he's leaving heretics alive, he's a hypocrite. I could plausibly see a hypocritical paladin as Lawful Good provided that he didn't kill anyone that wasn't already trying to kill him or a loved one, or someone otherwise defenseless.


Actually no, he doesn't strictly have to if he doesn't want to. Except where the heretic burners come in. In any case, killing a believer or a follower strictly on that basis is not Good. But as I said, you can still claim moral Neutrality.

Fair enough, as long as they are foregoing their opportunity to attest their moral compass (for example by attacking you), I can't say I've got a problem that. Unless you're pulling the Murder Hobo schtick of invading their home to do it.
This message was last edited by the user at 08:15, Sun 13 July 2014.

In Deadlands, I have a preacher who behaves in a lot of ways like a paladin (a completely clueless paladin, as described in my previous post above, given his 1d4-2 cognition). Because it's Deadlands, there's rarely any question of "is it evil?" Usually he decides on the spot if it's evil or not (as he doesn't really have any actual Detect Evil ability), and that decides his next course of action. If it's evil, he pulls out his sword and rushes headlong. If it's not, he pulls out his cross and gets into a shouting competition with the enemy (6d12+4 overawe. For those of you who aren't familiar with Deadlands, that's a lot).

That said, he likes to beat people into submission without killing them and then using his healing abilities to patch them up. He's generally not a huge fan of killing something that hasn't already died at least once.

At first, it was fun having him in the same party as a voodoo priestess (chaotic good), a pseudo-satanic gambler (chaotic evil/neutral) and an undead abomination (lawful good, maybe?) without him ever knowing. Since then, he's found out a decent amount of it. He's still fun to play just being totally self-righteous and completely clueless about pretty much everything.

And, to answer a previous question, he has no plans to kill the gambler, but he has threatened to on multiple occasions. (I would say my guy is all bark and no bite, but he has literally beaten the Hell out of some things.)

Long story short, you can't mess with people just by having your character play a particular alignment. You can have your character mess with the other characters, but that's a different story entirely.

Hmm... I'm inclined to agree.

A devout Chaotic Evil character would also be following his/her God's Law and the doctrine of the sect they are a member of, but that doesn't automatically make them Lawful Good. Keep in mind that very few people would actively categorize themselves as 'evil', especially those following holy tenets.

Alignment is how a person's actions are perceived by the majority of the population. Bonus points if you're triggering a discussion of whether trying to convert members of an Evil society to Good would technically be a Chaotic act since you'd be convincing people to go against their communal norm and the government keeping order in it.

This is getting off topic into an alinement discussion, should probably make a new thread for such.

Perhaps it's a little off topic, but due to its relevancy in annoying DMs, I'd say it's not entirely off topic.

I think it warrants a new one though myself. It causes a lot of fights o.o

Not really. I've said enough to show that it is indeed a topic that annoys GMs, and don't plan on saying any more. So if you want a topic, I'm not stopping you, but I'm not going to make one. In any case the actual discussion of whether or not to start a new topic is in fact, entirely off topic.
This message had punctuation tweaked by the user at 08:18, Sun 20 July 2014.

Anyway, on topic... pretty much pick any TV show or movie and make that the basis of your game without telling anyone and making it so skewed that they don't notice.  The more off the wall the better.  The whole point of the game, from the DM perspective, is then to see how long it takes the PCs to notice.

Bonus points if when they figure it out, they get at least briefly angry.  "What do you mean, we've spent the last year playing a Captain Planet game?"

Want to annoy a group of players?  Teseract

Dude...that's kinda brilliant.  Much kudos on that one.

In reply to swordchucks (msg # 57):

You can kinda reverse that to mess with the GM. Arrange beforehand to make all of your characters based off of some television show or movie. I have a GM who got mad when we even suggested coming in one day and acting like Scooby and the gang. And this is the same GM who, just last night, agreed that one of the people in our group could make their character look like Bobba Fett. (Recently changed game systems, so new characters now.)

DM: Design a homebrew tabletop system to emulate Dynasty Warriors 5: Xtreme Legends. Use it for other games and settings :D
This message was last edited by the user at 00:25, Thu 24 July 2014.

The players need the power of a certain ancient sword that is said to have the power to seal the BBEG. They fight their way to the depths of the ancient necropolis, to find the sword placed upon the altar, and... discover that it looks like a fluffy pink bunny.

The party are seeking a magical weapon, the ancient Sword of Nephrezos, a blade which can be used to slay the Dark God who threatens their world.  They hear a rumour that it might be hidden in a nearby cave, and track down the crazy old fool who claims to have seen it.  Then, with the fool's directions, they make their way up into the mountains, and into the vast labyrinth of caves and tunnels, filled with some of the most inimical creatures known to man, elf, or dwarf.

After weeks of delving deep into the bowels of the mountain, and numerous deaths, they finally enter a cavern where they find an altar with a sword atop it, and on the blade is an inscription - Sword of Nephrezos.

Then, as they examine the weapon. revelling in their impending victory over the Dark God, they notice that there is an inscription on the other side of the blade...

Crafted by Thorgrimm Thorgrimmsson & Company.
Part of the 'Swords of Legend' limited edition collector series.
Number 4,752 of 5,000.

In reply to bigbadron (msg # 63):

This is the most amazing thing I've read on this site in a long time... Please tell me you've done this to your players before.

No. I haven't.  I thought of it when I was reading the post above mine, which set me thinking of fake magic items.

so many good ideas, so little time (and space) to use them in *WEG*

In reply to srgrosse (msg # 62):

I just want to say that my girlfriend would love that sword.

I'd be more amused to use the pink bunny sword and then play it deadly seriously from the point of view of the rest of the world.  One of the players, thinking it's a joke, hits someone with it and they go flying.  Maybe, however, it doesn't seem to affect the PCs the same way.  They go to fight the BBG and... he laughs at it as it affects him the same way it affects the PCs (which is barely).

Then he dies of a heart attack from the laughter.

Speaking of wrong swords ........

I was helping GM an game focused around running quests out of an arena, one of the people in it got an item called Uncle Steve's Whacky Sword on a quest.... It was a weak sword with a fair amount of chaos damage and had a chance to cause a random affect from the "Uncle Steve's Whacky Sword table" The table was hidden to players and had over 50 some affects some weak some very strong all off a 100 sided dice.

So.... the guy started to like it because lots of good things where happening and only a few bad things.... then he rolled a 100 on the swords chaos roll.....

Table said something like this:

100 - Make up something really chaotic and down right crazy, unimaginable, and just insane to happen that could never really happen otherwise.

so yah this was the post that followed:

 

---

you kill the two thiefts easly..... but when the blade comes down on the second thieft the ground starts to rumble and shake as skeletal hands burst from the arena floor pulling there bodies out of the soil... a small army of 9 skeletons 14 skeleton archers and 19 skeleton swordsmen rise up out of the ground and start walking torge the the last 3 thiefts..... and then... they stop...

......


......

....and start snaping there finger bones...? o.O


After a few moments of them snaping, quitly at first, and then progesivly lounder jaz music starts to play.....

The thiefs seams quite confused by this... as dose... well everyone......

Then the lights go out and spot lights apear circling around the arena as a very sexy voice starts signing....
Forty-eight years of livin'
An angel in disguise
Forty-eight years of lovin'
Smilin' with my eyes
As the lovely voice sings the lights circle around to focus and hold still on a skeletion thats rising up out of the ground on a stage in a riped and torn up dress that apears to be the sorce of the voice....
Forty-eight years of memories
Neatly tucked away
When daylight dies, I hear them rise
And dance upon their graaaaavessss.....

And with that all the lights in the arena come back on and the skeletons are in beat up zuit suits and start dancing and they sing with her!
Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
What's that sound!?!
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Comin' from the dresser on a night as black as pitch?
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
What's that sound!?!
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
Comin' from the bureau, do I dare turn on the switch?

Them bones, them bones, them dry bones
All bleached and deathly white
I've got skeletons in my closet and
They're rattlin' toniiiiiight
Hup, Hup, theyre in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em

She starts pointing to bones as she signs
The cheat bones connected to deceit bones
And thereby connected to lies
I-love-you's said indiscriminately make the sockets for the eyes
The love bones knock against the hate bones
And fingers click in time
The skeletons start snaping there fingers again as they dance around.
There won't be sleep for the weary tonight
Cause all those bones are mineeeee........

They start up with the main dance again after that though.
Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
What's that sound!?!
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Comin' from the dresser on a night as black as pitch?
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
What's that sound!?!
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
Comin' from the bureau, do I dare turn on the switch?

Them bones, them bones, them dry bones
All bleached and deathly white
I've got skeletons in my closet and
Theyre rattlin' toniiiiiiight

After a bit more dancing they start to sink into the ground there signing fadding away....

Hup, Hup, theyre in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em

Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em

---

After that the skeletons burst into bone dust... they got exp and loot for them and they just stood there looking at each other with blank looks

The guy's partner then said "never, NEVER use that thing again."

And they promptly went home, wrapped it up, and barred it in the yard.

And of crouse I had a link to this as a reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDsoN48HI54

lol.... it was awesome.

I've seen you post about that one before...did anyone else actually recognise the song, or did they think you made it up or something?

I linked the song when I did it so they could listen to it, like i said.

I just think it was the fumiest thing that it's not the fact they were told they might get negative levels from the sword that made them stop using it, it was the spontaneous Broadway style all skeleton musical from no where that made them never want to use the sword again.

"Why did you stop using that sword I thought it gave you lots and lots of gold, are you afraid it will curse you or blast you with negative energy or something?"

"no" *shivers* "It makes musicals.... "
This message was last edited by the user at 22:23, Fri 25 July 2014.

In reply to Azraile (msg # 71):

That is officially going on the list of Awesome Random Things I Want to Happen in My Campaigns that Probably Never Will.

Of course, part of it is player reaction. Last time I pulled something out of the list, it didn't go over like I had hoped at all.

I had a player whose character was very rich. Due to legal reasons, he had about the same level of spending money as a middle-class individual, but he lived in a giant mansion with an army of ninja bodyguards, et cetera, et cetera. Fact is, his house was a giant version of my grandfather's bait & tackle box--except, instead of fishing hooks, they were plot hooks. I always told him to never, ever, EVER go in the attic. I made it abundantly clear that he didn't want to go up there. Of course, the day came that he finally did. I described to him a horrible abomination standing before him: a strange, scaled creature with the body of a man, a head like some kind of horse, a... actually, I have a picture.

Then I showed him this: http://images1.wikia.nocookie..../42/JarJarHS-SWE.jpg

I had hoped that he would turn tail and run, never to go back there again. This is exactly the opposite of what happened. I was quite sad.