Speaking of wrong swords ........
I was helping GM an game focused around running quests out of an arena, one of the people in it got an item called Uncle Steve's Whacky Sword on a quest.... It was a weak sword with a fair amount of chaos damage and had a chance to cause a random affect from the "Uncle Steve's Whacky Sword table" The table was hidden to players and had over 50 some affects some weak some very strong all off a 100 sided dice.
So.... the guy started to like it because lots of good things where happening and only a few bad things.... then he rolled a 100 on the swords chaos roll.....
Table said something like this:
100 - Make up something really chaotic and down right crazy, unimaginable, and just insane to happen that could never really happen otherwise.
so yah this was the post that followed:
you kill the two thiefts easly..... but when the blade comes down on the second thieft the ground starts to rumble and shake as skeletal hands burst from the arena floor pulling there bodies out of the soil... a small army of 9 skeletons 14 skeleton archers and 19 skeleton swordsmen rise up out of the ground and start walking torge the the last 3 thiefts..... and then... they stop...
......
......
....and start snaping there finger bones...? o.O
After a few moments of them snaping, quitly at first, and then progesivly lounder jaz music starts to play.....
The thiefs seams quite confused by this... as dose... well everyone......
Then the lights go out and spot lights apear circling around the arena as a very sexy voice starts signing....
Forty-eight years of livin'
An angel in disguise
Forty-eight years of lovin'
Smilin' with my eyes
As the lovely voice sings the lights circle around to focus and hold still on a skeletion thats rising up out of the ground on a stage in a riped and torn up dress that apears to be the sorce of the voice....
Forty-eight years of memories
Neatly tucked away
When daylight dies, I hear them rise
And dance upon their graaaaavessss.....
And with that all the lights in the arena come back on and the skeletons are in beat up zuit suits and start dancing and they sing with her!
Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
What's that sound!?!
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Comin' from the dresser on a night as black as pitch?
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
What's that sound!?!
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
Comin' from the bureau, do I dare turn on the switch?
Them bones, them bones, them dry bones
All bleached and deathly white
I've got skeletons in my closet and
They're rattlin' toniiiiiight
Hup, Hup, theyre in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
She starts pointing to bones as she signs
The cheat bones connected to deceit bones
And thereby connected to lies
I-love-you's said indiscriminately make the sockets for the eyes
The love bones knock against the hate bones
And fingers click in time
The skeletons start snaping there fingers again as they dance around.
There won't be sleep for the weary tonight
Cause all those bones are mineeeee........
They start up with the main dance again after that though.
Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
What's that sound!?!
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Comin' from the dresser on a night as black as pitch?
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
What's that sound!?!
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
Comin' from the bureau, do I dare turn on the switch?
Them bones, them bones, them dry bones
All bleached and deathly white
I've got skeletons in my closet and
Theyre rattlin' toniiiiiiight
After a bit more dancing they start to sink into the ground there signing fadding away....
Hup, Hup, theyre in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my closet now
Hup, Hup, Hup, I'm trying to forsake em
Hup, Hup, they're in my dresser now
Hup Hup Hup, I wouldnt wanna wake em
After that the skeletons burst into bone dust... they got exp and loot for them and they just stood there looking at each other with blank looks
The guy's partner then said "never, NEVER use that thing again."
And they promptly went home, wrapped it up, and barred it in the yard.
And of crouse I had a link to this as a reference:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDsoN48HI54
lol.... it was awesome.