Cabose: "Here's a place for Griff to sleap."
Griff: "Oh, yea!"
Cabose: "And here's the place where Sarge can turn up the heat in the place where Griff sleeps."
*Griff's on fire*
Griff: "Ow"

"Eyeball 3000" (Red&Blues name for their monitor guide: Don't touch that.
Church: Why, do they belong to red team?
EB3000:No, their armed and have a 50 megaton payload
Church: Oh, that's a good reason to.

Cabose: I have the tank. I have th- oops, not my fault someone put your body in the way.... Free gernades for everybody!....You get the last one, no, don't...*boom* Ow.

"Pillage THEN burn..."

"The reason the Cephaloid army do do so well in wartime, is that war is chaos and the Cephaloid army is practicing chaos on daily basis"

"Your soul is like your appendix, I don't even use it!" - Michael Kelso

Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
1. Pillage, then burn.
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on.
3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
11. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
13. Do unto others.
17: The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
18: If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.
20: If you’re not willing to shell your own position, you’re not willing to win.
24. Any sufficiently advance technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
27. Don’t be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy. No more. No less.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
37. There is no ‘overkill.’ There is only ‘open fire’ and ‘I need to reload.’

- Shlock Mercenary

Mongo only pawn in game of Life!

                         Alex Karras
                         Blazing Saddles

Big Bang Theory

Penny: Who's head did I blow off?
Sheldon: Mine
30 seconds later
Penny: There goes your head again!
Sheldon: It's not good to kill someone who just respaw... Oh, come on! *picks up controler*
Time lapse
Lenoard: Penny, you're on fire!
Penny: So is Sheldon!
Later...
Penny: Sheldon, it's raining you!!!

My two favourite tear-jerker lines(seriously, no matter my mood, the time of day, the setting, or what, they always reduce me to a lip-quivering crybaby) are both from Doctor Who.

"Labour camps. That's what they called them last time."

--Wilfred Mott, 'Turn Left'

"They leave. Because they should. Or they find someone else. And some of them, some of them....forget me. I suppose in the end, they break my heart."

--The Doctor, 'The Next Doctor'

As for the ones that crack me up, I think top one goes to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine...

"FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!"

--Worf, 'Take Me Out To the Holosuite'

Actually, now that I think about it, everything Worf does is hilarious to me.

"My grandmother taught me to be patient with fools but she never, ever said anything about full-on morons..."     - Kyra Gottesman (a columnist in my local paper)


"The source of violence is not poverty. It is not gender. It is not race. It is not lack of education. It is not society.

It is self-interest. And on this front, the self-proclaimed pacifists are no better than the violent. They just use different tools. "       -Mark MacYoung


And here's one I found, but if someone knows the attribution, I'd appreciate a note.


“Biologists think they are biochemists
biochemists think they are physical chemists
physical chemists think they are physicists
physicists think they are God...

and God? He thinks he's a mathematician.”
- Unknown
This message was last edited by the user at 17:02, Wed 25 July 2012.

"Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan."


Tom Robbins quote from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"If everyone was like her, we'd either be extinct or super advanced."

-Can't remember who...

Ira Bear (Irene Cobbler): "You know what they say, If it looks like a fox, acts like a fox, and yips like a fox, it's probably a fox."
Fenton Fox (Fenton Cobbler): "It's a duck."

From the book Bait and Switch.
Setup: Toon name (Real name)

Ira's a yellow teddy bear, fenton's, well, a fox anthro, both toons, but I just see Fenton as a normal fox anthro painted in ink-and-paint.

Plebs are needed.

- Caesar II

Sarge is dead.

- Army men.

"Humans need fantasy to be human"
-Death
Hogfather Terry Pratchet.

"Your character suddenly remembers that fist can be a verb..."

GM Me, table top 2nd ed. AD&D, to the least popular person AND character at the table, at a time when the comment made sense. Painful, painful sense.

"But I am Napoleon!"

- Napoleon, from a Bugs Bunny cartoon as they take Nappy away in a straight jacket.

In reply to Brygun (msg # 53):

Wacko: "Dust for prints"
(a little later)
Dot: "I found Prince!"
Wacko: "No no no. Finger-prints"
Dot (looks at prince): "I don't think so..."

From the Animaniacs.

"Shazbot!"

- Many people

The call that signifies the end of every game of Tribes : Ascend, as people rage and run.

"A kind man is a pateint wolf."-Unknown

"You cannot trust quotations on the internet." Albert Einstein.

Oh, man...!  And here I thought George Washington was the one who said that!!!

In reply to facemaker329 (msg # 58):

"Oh, man...!  And here I thought George Washington was the one who said that!!!" DjinShakin

I believe the correct quotation from Albert Einstein was
"Don't trust everything I say on the internet"

Just remembered this written on a schools library wall:

E=mc2
 - Einstein

(scribbled just below)
 'Nice Al, but next time show your work'

"Disperse, loyal battle monkeys!Do my bidding and bust a cap!"- Overlord Zetta, Makai Kingdom

"If God did not exist, Man would have to Create him."  - Unknown *


This quote was posted on the classroom wall of my History teacher, a former Air Force pilot who flew missions during the Korean War.  It always struck me as interesting, since he made sure (be it World History, American History, or Political Science) that his students were aware of the role that 'religion' played for every culture, government,and time period we studied.  Though he never directly referred to the quote or pointed to it on his wall, it definitely made everyone think as they sat down and the lesson began for it being where all could see it as they entered the room.